The Bottom of the Order

"He's some kind of special."

2009-06-03T08:33:00.001-07:00

Rueters photo, via Daylife.

"What he's able to do with that baseball, it's like playing a video game for me. You put that target down and away, or you put that target in, and you know the man is going to go out there and execute his pitches. He's some kind of special." -- Rod Barajas

A open letter to the half-dozen or so people who read this blog with any regularity

Thanks for reading, and so long. I've decided that I'll basically retire this portal, while leaving the possibility of the odd missive from time to time, simply due to time constraints . It's gotten to the point where posting here was more obligation than passion, and that's no good. I've long felt that, with the embarrassment of riches that is the Jays' blogosphere, I don't really have anything novel to contribute. So I'll revert to being a reader of all the great sites that obsessively cover all things Blue Jays-related (check the links on the right).

It's not as though I've stopped watching the games -- on the contrary, this nutty season has sparked in me an even deeper appreciation of the game and this team. Watching what Roy Halladay is doing this year is a gift to baseball fans, an incredible display that I'll enjoy seeing to its conclusion (in early November, obvs.). And somebody better be taking notes, because Doc's biography is a book I'm going to enjoy reading once it's written.

But while I'm very happy to watch and read and to be a fan, I'm no longer feeling that urge to relive every game on this page. If (when) the Jays make the postseason I might feel differently, if only to have a personal record of those heady days, but as a daily exercise, The Bottom of the Order is no longer.

Thanks for reading.

Go Jays.

Of Warnings Not Heeded

2009-05-07T18:18:00.000-07:00

Told you. Anger Roy, get punished.

Elsewhere

Manny who?

I'm off for a few days of R&R, during which time I have no intention of checking in here or otherwise utilizing a computer. Kicking it old school. Pay phones and motels with actual keys. Paying cash for bottles of Genny. Etc. Anyway, enjoy the weekend, the games, and the weather (if applicable).

A Word of Advice to the Los Angeles Americans Base Ball Club

2009-05-06T17:51:00.001-07:00

Do not anger this man. I mean, any more than you already have by deigning to step onto the same field.

If you choose to ignore my advice, ask yourself a simple question: Can I run faster than this stadium will fall?

A Few Things

2009-05-05T05:37:00.000-07:00

Alright, yeah, you know what? I'd switch teams to get close to Aaron Hill. There, I said it. What the hell.

And yes, last night's extra innings loss -- after a couple of comebacks, mind -- fully sucked. But there's no overstating how awesome it was to see Tallet dealing like that after getting rocked like a hurricane in his last start.

And okay, I was largely absent from my spot on the couch this past weekend for the Baltimore sweep (in my defense, what could be more punk rock than eating tomatoes and eggplant that you yourself grew?!?). I did slide inside on Saturday afternoon just in time to see Barajas rumbling home like a runaway jalopy and Aaron Hill (see first item) just about blowing a gasket. Only later did I get the backstory. He was singing "Redemption Song!"

Also, I think it important that I mention this: Is there a sweatier human being than Fausto Carmona?

And finally, rumour has it that Brett Cecil makes his debut today, but since my TV listings make no mention of a Jays game, anywhere, I have to assume that rumour is bunk, and that Toronto has an off-day today. Right?

Ready For Your Close-Up, Mr. Cecil?

2009-05-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

We knew moves were coming, and Bastien reports that Purcey is on his way down to Vegas along with Burres and Bullington, all to make way for Cecil, Robert Ray and Brian Wolfe. Cecil likely starts Tuesday, meaning Ray goes tomorrow. Fine, but I'm more anxious to see Brett Cecil (who's name always makes me think, unfortunately, of Poison, but that says more about me than it does about him) make his first start.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have in store a long afternoon of anticipation: firstly for The Tao's Friday Rock Out, and then for Halladay's start tonight against the O's.

Grindin'

2009-04-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

Man, that KC offense is a real meat grinder for opposing pitchers, huh? After making Brian Tallet look completely awkward, they totally made Brian Burres appear to be a marginal pitcher with no business being on a major league roster. Lucky for Doc he avoids that whirring blade of humiliation and ERA inflation. I pity the next staff to face the mighty Royals bats, unless it's the Yankees.

I'm just brightsiding here, but hitting into six double plays and still score six runs will win you a game most of the time. Most of the time when Brian Burres isn't pitching.

Elsewhere!

Because I'm a complete shut-in, I'm a little jazzed by the news that the Mariners will be paying tribute to the '39 Seattle Rainiers (PCL champs, dontcha know) on Saturday by wearing Rainiers throwbacks (they should be similar to the '41 version seen here). I want one.

Related: Shame Lucky Lohrke won't be around to see it. Do yourself a favour and read Larry Stone's piece about Lorhke and his insane life. The things he survived are staggering; a movie made about this man's life would be a thousand times better than Benjamin Button (best Best Picture winner since Braveheart!).

Quasi-related (to the first bullet): Hey, tomorrow's another Flashback Friday, right? Bring on the embarrassing pajama unis! Who looks the most uncomfortable in them things? Bajaras? Snider (who's too young to remember powder blue road uniforms)? Votes? Anybody?

Completely unrelated: If I come across one more lazy journalist phoning it in with a story about "staycations," I'll be very, very displeased. Easily the most annoying and over-abused trope of 2009. Hell, it even made the list! Desist!

Alright, I'm On Board

2009-04-29T05:29:00.001-07:00

I'm convinced. Scott Richmond is a quality starter, a fine addition to this largely ragtag rotation. A lot of question marks, but right now I feel great about Doc, and pretty damn good about both Richmond and Tallet.

As for facing the unhittable Zack Greinke, I think the Jays hitters welcome the challenge. It'll be a shame to put a dent in his Cy Young hopes, but we all know who the rightful owner of that piece of hardware is anyway.

Rakes!

2009-04-25T05:23:00.000-07:00

The Windy City, indeed.

Well, that was fun, wasn't it? I can't help but think that they should have saved some of those runs to support Burres today, though (you know what they say: "Halladay, then, er, Richmond, and then, um, Tallett, and then pray for rain."). With offensive output like that, and a few more boots by Alexei Ramirez, things might keep rolling.

I know it's too soon to start such talk, but with the way the Jays and Royals are playing I'm tempted to think about it: wouldn't a rematch of the '85 ALCS be nice? Revenge would be sweet.

Thanking Whatever Deity Might Be Responsible For These Wins

2009-04-24T12:32:00.001-07:00

Litsch, BJ and Romero on the DL, and still this team finds ways to win. One of those ways is named Scott Richmond, who doesn't do it pretty, but he does it pretty well. Not sure we'll be saying the same thing about Brian Burres, though. Yeah, I'm worried about that. I won't suggest doing something rash like ponying up the cash that Pedro's asking for, but if this team is still in first place in May, maybe the Rogers braintrust loosens the pursestrings for a run?

And now, because while I do love The Tao, I could never really get behind the Gandharvas (and also because Roberto Suzuki ain't my real name), here's a little something for a sun-drenched Friday afternoon spent waiting for a game (somewhere, anywhere!) to start -- 'Andrew' by the Crystal Antlers:

What Will It Take to Anger Alex Rios?

2009-04-22T18:13:00.001-07:00

Notwithstanding tonight's decent performance, Alex Rios looks listless in '09. Maybe tonight's game will prove to be a turning point, but if it's not I have to wonder what it takes to piss this man off. Most of the time after he weakly grounds to short or lofts a lazy fly to centre with runners on and two out, he looks like he's thinking, "Whatevs, I'm pretty. And I will seek solace for my moderate shame in the beautiful arcs drawn in the sky by my expensive R/C helicopters." I can't help but think he needs some sort of motivation, and anger seems to work a treat for Roy "Don't Cross Me Twice" Halladay. Alex might be wise to emulate.

So get mad, pretty boy.

Also

Hey, let's get Aaron Hill voted into the ASG. Just for kicks.

What a Weekend

2009-04-20T19:55:00.001-07:00

Too soon to dub him Ricky "ROY" Romero? 'Cause damn.

Walkoffs, one-run games, converted starters and .714 winning percentages. Yes, it is a good time to be us.

An Apology

2009-04-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

Since I added Rolen to the roster of my fantasy team, Dooley Womack's Seattle Pilots, he's 0 for 7. Clearly this is my fault, and I'm truly sorry.

On the plus side of the ledger, today we get to see what kind of a starter Brian Tallet makes. He's clearly a smart man, having recognized the void we've suffered since the departure of Sal Fasano, and stepping in with his own extravagant 'tache to claim the title of Jays' Best Facial Hair. Witness:

Mad, mad props to Ian at Blue Jay Hunter for that photo. Minor quibble, but I kind of think of the hirsute Mr. Tallet as more of a "We don't need no stinking badges!" kind of guy. Nevertheless, Ian is the best photoshopper in the Jays blogging community. Support your local artist.

Reining In That Enthusiasm

2009-04-17T10:59:00.000-07:00

There's a chance I got a bit ahead of myself last night when, drunk on offense, I declared that short of Rios' slow start things were just this side of perfect in Jaysland. In fact there are several areas of concern, as we all know, starting with Rios, but encompassing Money Earnin', too, who's looking a tad slower in CF, and at times a tad befuddled at the plate. Add the misadventures of the closer, the loss of the most experienced non-Halladavian starter, and the great probability that this .727 clip won't last all season long (if it did they'd end up winning 117 games, which is a wonderful thing to contemplate), and you are left with the conclusion that our current high can't possibly last. But it's also worth remembering that strong seasons are very rarely built on the backs of weak Aprils; if the miraculous should happen and the Jays find themselves playing meaningful games in September, then having these games in their pocket might provide the crucial difference between contention and disappointment.

And then there's Seattle, who were picked by most to dwell in the nether-regions of the AL West again this season, but who have started off hot. The same caveat applies to them: they probably aren't as good as they look right now, but with Griffey back at Safeco, Ichiro healthy and breaking records, and the M's actually winning, there are a lot of reasons to pay attention. If'n I were a Seattlite (which has been a sort of a fantasy of mine, off and on for years, for a variety of reasons I won't bore you with here), I'd be at the park every night, I think. "A New Day," goes the team's new ad line, and aside from conjuring unfortunate memories of a lesser Paula Abdul single (pray God they don't play that song at the park as the hometowners charge out of the dugout), it just might be apt. Also, tonight's Ichiro bobblehead night, so there's that.

Finally, whichever part of my head or heart is responsible for schadenfreude went into overdrive yesterday afternoon when the Indians helped the Yankees open the new Yankee Stadium by handing them a 10-2 spanking. Delicious. Whatever goodwill I experienced last season has long since evaporated. Once again I truly do hate the Yankees.

It's a Good Time to Be Us

2009-04-16T20:06:00.001-07:00

Holy shit, this is fun. If only Rios would remember what the hell to do with that stick they keep putting in his pretty, pretty hands, things'd be just about perfect. There are few things as brutal and precise as what Roy Halladay did in that bottom of the fifth. Cold, calculating. Jesus god, the man amazes. The fantasy league I'm in has a provision that your pitching staff must put in a minimum of 25 innings in a week for any of your pitching stats to count; this isn't a problem for me, because I have Halladay, and he averages 25.1 innings a start.

Elsewhere: Ichiro! Last night, downtrodden because he had been unable to help his (first place!) teammates from the DL, the Human Awesome decided to play catch up, collecting the maximum number of RBI in an AB. Still restless, tonight he attempts to become the hittingest Japanese man of all time. Impressive!

Working Full Time

2009-04-14T19:31:00.000-07:00

One of the things I'm loving about this '09 Jays team (and there's a lot to love) is the fact that they play all the time. Last year it felt like 8 guys would wait around for another guy to start something. This year? This year everybody's been startin' something, old dogs and young lions alike. First pitch to last of the ninth (or extras, as is the case tonight), they play. Even the bench has been there; that catch Millar just made in the tenth? Huge.

One of the talking smirks on TSN's morning highlight loop said something like "People are breaking their arms hopping on the Jays bandwagon." What the what? How are arms even involved there? What's a bandwagon look like? Does it have high sides that you need to use your arms to vault over? I always kind of thought it was more like a haywagon, i.e. just a flatbed sort of deal. In that case, you'd really just need to do one of those things where you make a little hop and then turn your ass in midair, thereby landing in a seated position, no arms necessary. Maybe I'm wrong about that.

At any rate, my point is: that's stupid. People are right to be pleasantly surprised (so far) by this team's record. Surprised and pleased. Ain't a damn thing wrong with that. People enjoy watching good baseball, and right about now the Jays are playing real good baseball. When you watch games like these, you talk about it.

I'm not saying that when the Jays hit one of their inevitable rough patches that folks won't go right back to ignoring them, and I reserve the right to be annoyed by the prevailing air of fickleness. 'Sides, the NHL playoffs start tomorrow, so even if Lind and Snider continue to rake at bonkers rates, the JV rotation strikes our every batter they face from now 'til Victoria Day, and "Canada's team" racks up a crazy AL East lead that they never relinquish, the whole package will be buried behind hockey highlights or at the back of the classified section, right next to Family Circus. We northern baseball fans are strangers in a strange land. Deal with it, and enjoy watching this team right now, whether or not the softbellies at the watercooler are paying attention.

Elsewhere!

Ichiro gives good quote. Feels "so good it's annoying." Midseason form for the Human Awesome.

Sad to hear of Harry Kalas' death. I remember him most vividly as the voice of NFL Films, which I used to watch on Sunday mornings before the day's games began. His was the perfect voice to lend an appropriate sense of gravity, drama and import to sport. In recent years I was always happy to have the chance to tune into a Phils game on MLB Audio, just to hear him do what he did best. Kalas died in the booth, doing what he loved. We should all be so lucky.

5-1

2009-04-12T06:39:00.001-07:00

We are officially 1/27th of the way through the 2009 season, which might be a bit early to get excited about this team, but I'm not sure I can help myself. Holy goddamn, this is great. Like, really friggingly amazingly awesome.

Yes, BJ is off to a rocky start. But I think BJ's earned some patience. The Jays are in the enviable position of having a few fallback plans, but for now I think Ryan's best hope (heh) is to work things out on the mound in Toronto (or wherever Toronto's playing -- you know what I mean) and not in some backwater minor league town.

As a side note, wouldn't it be awesome if BJ and Brian Tallet hooked up to star in a buddy comedy (called BJ and The Bear, obvs.) about a pair of bullpen mates who got into crazy adventures? Can somebody less lazy than me please photoshop that? Here are the ingredients:

(Couldn't find one with the extravagant 'tache BT's currently sporting -- mind photoshopping that, too? Thanks in advance.)

Afternoon Delight

2009-04-10T04:48:00.000-07:00

Oh, yes, I love afternoon baseball, especially when I'm present (and snapping pictures -- you like?), and our debuting first round pitcher beats their debuting first round pitcher. That's a lovely thing to behold. Only downside being the get-out-of-town-for-the-holiday-weekend traffic on the DVP and 401. (Next time: train.)

Baseball on TV is good, of course (I believe I'll be indulging in some this afternoon), but nothing beats the ballpark, if only for the opportunity it affords to engage in baseball-themed conversation with a perfect stranger. In this case, Mike from Jamestown, NY, who found himself with a day off work and so made the drive up for the afternoon. It was nice talking to you, Michael. Hope your drive home was a safe one.

The only thing the afternoon lacked was a replay on that Rios ball-off-head incident. What happened there?

Elsewhere

Incredibly sad news out of Anaheim. I hadn't heard about Adenhart's death until an announcement at Rogers Centre, which was followed by an appropriately somber moment of silence (even the videoboards went black), before yesterday's game. The BotO's thoughts are with Adenheart's family, friends and teammates. MLB made the right move in postponing last night's Angels-A's game.

Goodbye, Perfect Season

2009-04-09T05:12:00.000-07:00

Haven't seen the Mockingbird's chart-y breakdown yet, but I'd say Litsch hung a few too many meatballs out there last night.

Oh, well, 162-0 would've only raised expectations to an unreasonably high level heading into the playoffs.

P'rhaps this afternoon they get back on track. Ready, Mr. Romero?

Counting Our Blessings

2009-04-08T03:54:00.000-07:00

First of all, that game was beautiful. Shame we couldn't watch it, Sportsnet, but at least we could listen (more on that in a minute). Purcey did about as much as you could ask (short of controlling a pair of nutty throws), and yes, I have accepted Scott Rolen as my personal Lord and Savior, with Aaron Hill as his favoured apostle.

Ryan? Well, "one bad pitch" (to Brandon Inge?) is what they're saying about BJ's performance. Er, we'll see.

But now, the reason for that image above... we're lucky to have Alan Ashby. I caught him briefly on The Fan with McCown yesterday, casually deferring the oportunity to offer a win total prediction for the Jays, and they man is all class, in addition to knowing his shit. I use the hell out of the MLB Gameday Audio, listening to games from all over the place -- Chicago, Seattle, Cincinnati, Cleveland, wherever -- and I have to say that in Jerry and Alan we've got about the best radio team in the game. Just a pleasure to listen to.

Rakes!

2009-04-07T05:12:00.001-07:00

Wasn't that beautiful? I mean, aside from Doc's 7th inning aberration (and let's assume that's a blip, shall we?). Lind and Snider look more than ready, I'd say. We said we wanted offense, and offense we got. Rakes!

There were nearly as many good vibes floating around snowy Toronto yesterday as there were during last month's US-Canada love-in, and the home team delivered with 4 (four!) two out runs in the first. Maybe it's a bit early to project a 162 win season, but that's kind of how it felt last night. It was all lovely until a few amateur fans decided to make themselves the story. Stay home, guys. The beer's cheaper.

In the lead up to the big event, I was all a-tingle, ready to celebrate the Secular Christmas Day (er, moreso) in fine fashion. Snacks, drinks, the proper attire... and I had in my head the words of the poet of the Jays blogging community, The Tao of Stieb:

Certainly, if you are focused on the the short term, and the wins and losses in the next six weeks or six months, you may be disappointed by the latest incarnation of the Blue Jays. But for those of us who have been following this narrative word for word, line by line and chapter after chapter, this is an incredibly exciting time.

Now, we watch the next heroes step out of the shadows and into the limelight. And if that is not the fodder for the fondest of dreams, then what is?

Beautiful.

Once Again My Life Has Meaning

2009-04-06T04:39:00.001-07:00

Well, thank god that's over. Winter, I mean, though as I write this a crystalline gale whirls above a once again white ground. But baseball starts today (or last night, I suppose, if you want to split hairs), and that means life resumes. Our lengthy and unpleasant stasis has an endpoint: 7:15PM EDT tonight.

So yeah, you can formulate your fancy predictions, even in the face of an organization bent on fostering diminished expectations. Realists? In the front office? But yeah, probably this team regresses to the .500 mark, give or take, before surging in '10, right? Right?

It'll be fun to watch, though, once we're stripped of the illusion of competitiveness. That's a false hope that can only rend hearts asunder, leave them pulpy, squishy messes on the concrete ramps of Rogers Centre. Abandon that fool's dream and instead focus on the meat of this season: the development of our youth. And Halladay, of course. And, once again, can Rios put it all together? And will Vernon budge from CF? And then there's watching Rolen ensnare everything hit his way. Hopefully a full season of Hill. All that and a cuss-word-slingin' manager? Jesus, seems to me there's plenty of reasons to pay attention in '09.

Enjoy Opening Night, those of you headed to the dome. Bellow an "Atta boy, Roy!" for me, and down a $9 beer, won't you? I might make it down later in the week, but tonight it'll be me, a couch, and Jamie Campbell. Or Jamie Campbell on mute with a little Cotton Mather playing over top.

Elsewhere!

I'll consider buying your t-shirt, Lloyd, if it comes in powder blue, but not black.

My heart cries! Ichiro's ulcer bleeds! A galactic calamity. No Opening Day start? DL? The Human Awesome bucks in his restraints, needs to play! Cannot be held down! Will return to punish opposition teams, still collect 200 hits, run with swiftness, embody success. Rescue Mariners? Not as yet; his plan requires more time.

Another dream dies in Ottawa, as the Can-Am League abandons plans to run the newly-minted Voyageurs in the wake of ownership instability in Atlantic City. Too bad; I was looking forward to an evening or two at the park this summer, maybe even watching Oil Can toss. The good news is that with the glacial pace of decisions in Ottawa municipal governance, there will in all likelihood still be a ballpark around next year, should Miles Wolff and the Can-Am folks be successful in reviving the team. Here's hoping.

Tick Tock

2009-04-01T04:09:00.000-07:00

Home stretch. I know, in less than a week we get this thing started. About time, because I've got the shakes up in here. That WBC helped to tide me over, but in the last week or so I've had the jones bad, checking and rechecking my fantasy lineup (get well soon, Chairman Mauer!), trying on the caps (frontwards or backwards?), and generally making a pest of myself around the house. Turns out my two year-old daughter doesn't really care who the Jays slot into the fifth spot...

Tick tock...

Scholar Disapproves of the Manner in Which You Spend Your Leisure Time

2009-03-26T03:24:00.000-07:00

All those hours you spent watching Ryno and the Cubbies on WGN, or Fergie Oliver and Don Chevrier on Labatt Blue Jays Baseball, were not only wasted hours, but they prove you’re an idiot.

“Sports fans,” writes David P. Barash, professor of psychology at the University of Washington, “may simply be the comic sidekicks of nationalists.”

Well.

Mr. Barash seems certain that the impulse to watch others engage in sport is an evolutionary remnant of the very real notion of safety in numbers, but that a truly evolved human being, a civilized person, has no need to engage in such nonsense. So if you do it, you’re a Neanderthal. This is basically Mr. Barash’s take on things. Or, to cite his example, you are essentially on par, intellectually, with an oystercatcher.

It’s supremely tempting to place the nub, the locus of Mr. Barash’s argument in the schoolyard, to call it the residual animosity of a 98 lb weakling habitually victimized by bigger, more agile, more sports-oriented boys. It is, we might reason, the classic nerd-vs-jock tension, and in that scenario this article – published in The Chronicle of Higher Education, no less – is his grand revenge. By debunking the ridiculous myth of spectator sports, he’s pointing out the absurdity of the very core of those bullies’ beings. As I say, it’s tempting to do that, but I’ll abstain (or did I just go ahead and do it anyway?). I will hasten to add that he does take pains to point out that it is not the act of sport that irks him or seems to him pointless, but the act of watching others do it:

Thanks to spectator sports, each of us can know fame for most of our lives, so long as we are satisfied with the ever-shifting, warmed-over shadow of someone else's.

Do you see the problem here? A straight line from that reasoning leads to this: why watch the play when you could write it or act in it yourself? Why read the book when you could write it instead?

It’s also worth noting, according to Mr. Barash, that professional athletes are, by and large, louts. Gamblers, womanizers, cheats. To that I say this: Hate the artist, love the art. I dig me some Miles Davis. Does the fact that he was known to treat women like punching bags diminish the power of Filles de Kilimanjaro? Or his heroin habit; does it negate the beauty of In a Silent Way? Do VS Naipaul’s less-than-exemplary personal habits obscure the literary merit of a book like A Bend in the River?

Well, likewise Pete Rose.

But the soft, indefensible heart of his argument, the creamy centre of his ultimately bitter concoction, the most jagged clavicle nestled among his many bones of contention, is this. Are you are ready for it? Instead of wasting your time watching sports, Mr. Barash posits,

You might try reading a book, talking with your family, going for a walk, wrestling with the dog, listening to some music, smelling a flower, making love…

Germane points, all. But here’s the thing, Mr. Barash: I do all of those things. Every damn last one of them, and I expect I’m not the only sports fan who does. Because sports fans are not cardboard cut-outs, they’re not two-dimensional space fillers, and they’re not simple-minded rubes devoid of attention spans who would rather suckle at the mollifying teat of The Great Distraction than actually question, engage with or otherwise give a damn about the world, any more than academics are.

I read (and write!). I walk. I wrestle with (and get bitten by) the family dog. I’m obsessive about music, from punk to jazz to, yes, even classical. I garden. I have sired a child in blessed wedlock. I even like theatre, especially if written by the man probably not pictured here (and for the record, though I do love a good conspiracy theory, I’m a Stratfordian).

And I also love sports. Love them. Baseball in particular, but sports in general. I love watching sports for a number of very visceral reasons – the motion! the colour! the noise! I know that when I turn on a game, or go to see one in person, I’m going to see a sequence of events that are both unpredictable and unique, and that’s a rare thing. Sport is not merely the rehearsed movement of automatons, but a human drama; to watch a game is to find yourself in the presence of genuine narrative, the intertwining of untold number of stories, like a vast social history being enacted on a playing field. Read David Maraniss’ biography of Roberto Clemente, or the stories of Ring Lardner, or You Gotta Have Wa, Robert Whiting’s look at Japanese baseball, and try to tell me that there’s nothing more involved than a “children’s game.” Sport is an intersection of humanity, at once a communal celebration and an individual test.

I am also drawn to watching sport, I think, for a lot of the same reasons I love to read literature, to listen to music and to watch films, and to engage in any number of other manifestations of humanity’s fondness for (and utter need of) the arts, and that is the pleasure I garner from watching individuals succeed utterly, to watch someone push the limits of what it is possible to do with the human body.

It’s rare that a scholarly article gets my back up like this one did, but Mr. Barash’s argument seems untenable, paper-thin, reactionary. All of us move in several circles during the coarse of the day, and at times you find yourself in the company of those who you know don’t share your passion for sports, and if you’re like me you wonder what it would take to convince these people of the merits of spectatorship. I’m grateful for the chance to carefully consider the question, so I guess I owe the author thanks for that. But I can’t help but feel that the argument which inspired this post wasn’t so much carefully considered as it was spit out. The genteel forum doesn’t alter the fact that David Barash felt something in his gut and then went about constructing a spurious (and almost spiteful) argument to support it. It's fine if you're not a fan. I support that. But don't ridicule fandom because you don't understand what it means to love to watch.

Elsewhere!

Oil Can Boyd, 49, wants to pitch in Ottawa? I think that’s amazing, and perfectly harmonious with the amicably hucksterish tone that low-level minor league ball should strive to attain. Seek the balance between competitiveness and fun. I know I’ll try to make it to the park for one of his starts.

Oh, Tao. As if I didn’t love you enough already, now you go and tell of your fondness for Joe Pernice? I am, truth be told, a tad obsessive about Pernice, the Scud Mountain Boys, Chappaquiddick Skyline, the Pernice Bros., and just about everything else he’s had his hand in. I already dug the Friday Rock Out feature, but then you go and do this? If I weren’t already married… And straight…

One of the upsides to the Griffey signing for the Mariners is one I hadn’t considered: his elder statesman persona taking the pressure off of Ichiro to be the presumed leader of the team, and putting to rest all that clubhouse chatter from last season. This might just work out after all. Does Ichiro do the things necessary to win? If you mean being a leadoff hitter who collects 200 hits every year and plays stellar defense too, then yes. If you mean giving rousing locker room speeches or coddling the youngsters, then I guess he totally does suck. Now Junior can give the speeches.

Somnambulism, etc.

2009-03-24T18:50:00.000-07:00

Today proved a handy day-long refresher in reasons I don't regularly stay up to watch West Coast games that go to extra innings. NEVERTHELESS, if you didn't find yourself completely engrossed in that final, not only do you not love baseball, but I daresay you hate the world and everything in it.

But don't take my word for it; the real baseball cognoscenti have weighed in. Witness!

SI's Tom Verducci posits that Japan is great for not hitting home runs, and that Americans are foolish (for not caring about the WBC)
Larry Stone sheds light on Yu Darvish's Seahawk-lovin' dad, and wonders if that admittedly skimpy connection might one day land Yu with the M's
Lloyd runs down the hard lessons to be gleaned from Korea's loss
Even Parkes of the usually jaded and disdainful Drunkards felt the excitement (see Item 4)

(Also: Ichiro is incredible. I love Ichiro. I'm renaming my daughter Ichiro.)

Go Japan!

2009-03-23T19:09:00.000-07:00

S. Korean - Japan gets my vote for best international baseball rivalry. My vast fortune and all of my considerable street cred. if Ichiro doesn't collect at least a base hit tonight.

Yeah, safe to say that the '09 WBC succeeded in capturing my attention.

"Embarrassing"

2009-03-16T04:01:00.000-07:00

I know they issued a retaliatory spanking to the Dutch last night, but let's talk about Saturday night for just a moment, shall we? What's more "embarrassing" (Adam Dunn's term): losing by more than 10 runs, or having the game ended by the Mercy Rule?

Hear that, Jetes? "Mercy Rule!" Like Little Leaguers, the umps felt so sorry for you that they ended the game early.

No Excuse Necessary

2009-03-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

I've been waiting for an excuse to use this photo, but I can't wait any longer, so here it is. How about: because it's Friday, and The Tao already has your TGIF dose of rock all cued up. I used to use this pic as a desktop on my work PC. My friend and cubicle mate called it "Al Oliver's Hammer," for reasons I don't think I need to explain.

Al's keeping a healthy distance from the vials in Rock's back pocket.

Unbelievable

2009-03-11T03:39:00.001-07:00

This WBC is one crazy tournament.

Empty Hands and the Long Walk Home

2009-03-10T06:27:00.000-07:00

After all that basebally goodness on Saturday, last night's 6-2 pasting at the hands of the Italians before largely empty seats was a hell of a letdown. Similarly, Sunday night's US-Venezuela tilt (the only game I was able to make the trip into the city for) wasn't exactly the epic battle I had envisioned. There were Venezuelans in abundance (and a distinct lack of Venezuela caps for sale -- you must anticipate, Jays Shop people!). If I hadn't watched Saturday night's game, I'd have said that a few thousand scattered Venezuela fans can generate more noise than a full house of Canadians (especially when booing a representative of Chavez's government tagged with first-pitch honours). There were a few Americans, too (dude next to me drove 19 hours from Kansas). Guys in full Yanks regalia cheering YOUK! is a strange thing to behold.

Best moment of the US-Ven game for me took place in the American bullpen (I was sitting in RF). Some kid leans over from the stands in the corner and yells at LaTroy Hawkins, who's minding his own business, leaning back in his folding chair and watching the game, and the kid yells, "LaTroy, YOU SUCK!"

Hawkins: "I'm rich." That seems to shut the kid up.

Then Rogers Centre security zeroes in on the culprit and has a long, serious talk with him, presumably about how best to straighten out his life. I tried to imagine a similar conversation in New York, Boston, Detroit, Chicago or Cleveland, and I couldn't, because it wouldn't happen. Only in Toronto would a heckle involving no profanity draw the attention of a member of stadium security (who looked a lot like Sidney Pollack, incidentally).

Still, good things to come out of the WBC for Canada include Votto's hometown performance, and Phillippe Aumont setting them up and then mowing them down in the seventh. Holy shit, that was awesome. It was like we were able to watch the kid mature in the middle of an inning. That's what's great about the tournament, I think: how else could a kid at his level have a chance to face the likes of Wright, Youk and Granderson in a game that actually (sort of) means something? All of which is to say: where do I get my Aumont jersey? I think we see now what the M's (and Mariners fans) like about him. I see Lloyd approves, too.

Reality returned Sunday, of course (and again last night -- 12,000 on hand for a home squad elimination game?) when Toronto showed its true stripes. It's a hockey town. Here's your rabid fanbase enjoying a high scoring affair between a pair of teams stacked with high quality major leaguers:

Hustle (The B.o.t.O. Link Dump - March Edition)

2009-03-05T17:11:00.001-08:00

There's no real reason for me to post that picture (via the always excellent Uniwatch, from a few days ago) except its sheer beauty. I was talking with a friend recently about the A-Rod noise, and I told him my theory: Rose got the shaft because Giamiatti thought baseball still had a pristine image which it couldn't afford to see sullied. That shit happens today, people shrug their shoulders and forget about it the next day. Especially now, times being what they are. Most likely reaction: "I could use the coin, too. Excellent idea, Pete!" Now imagine Rodriguez coming out with his admission twenty or thirty years ago. You think he'd still have a job? Nevermind, of course, the ethics of all this attention being paid to the results of an anonymous test... Buh.

Anyway, forgive me while I discharge all the stuff I haven't had time to mention for the last week or so...

Props Where Due

Ridiculously overdue respect to Lloyd for the abundant science he dropped on the manner in which we're being played. I know they have me over a barrel, and yet I do nothing to free myself from these chains. So who's really to blame?

What Is Not But Could Be If

I don't want to give the impression that I was in favour of the rumoured pursuit of Orlando Cabrera, because I wudn't, no sir. But I was already looking at potential upsides: it would've given me a chance to run another post in my "series" (if one post does a series make, that is) entitled My Brush With a Blue Jay, for you see I once spent an overlong rain delay in the Ottawa Lynx dugout with Orlando and his brother Jolbert Cabrera. Orlando borrowed my raincoat to make a point. He put it on and shouted in the direction of the owner, "I'm ready to play!" Unfortunately for you, the Oakland A's have robbed you of your chance to hear that story. So sad.

Amateur Night at Uniwatch

So yeah, like I said up there, I like me some Uniwatch. And I love me some baseball jerseys. So a couple of things here. One, I dig the new O's road jerseys, but look closely there... the inset image of the sleeve patch clearly says BALTIMORE ORIOLES, while the patch actually on the sleeve says ORIOLES BASEBALL. What gives? This was probably covered on Uniwatch one day that I didn't read (and really, who can be bothered searching?), but I'm curious to see which one will actually grace the onfield unis. Second, I've made no secret of my fascination with the ill-fated Seattle Pilots (1969-1969), and I love this graphic (via Uniwatch, of course) which shows how the Pilots' uniforms were quickly re-purposed when they suddenly became the Brewers in 1970. I've got a replica (actually a Mariners throwback) of the cream home jersey in the upper-left corner, and I'd always wondered if the ball-with-wings patch was actually white on the originals (as it is on mine), or if somebody at Majestic simply screwed up. Nice to finally know.

Uh, yeah. You still awake?

Like a Contagion

The Tao's got it, and yeah, alright, so do I. I'm actually into the WBC. I was up early for an unrelated reason this morning and I watched China-Japan from about the fourth inning on (Ichiro, 0-for-5: what?). And here's the thing: I truly wished I'd been up earlier to see the start of the game. I've got tickets to Sunday night's game (winner of US-CAN vs. winner of Venezuela vs. Italy, but let's be honest here, I'll be seeing the US vs. Venezuela) at Rogers Centre, and I'm a little bit giddy. What'll I wear?

Related: Yu Darvish looks like an anime character made flesh. I mean, you know, actual flesh, not drawn or rendered flesh.

Related (2): Is there any doubt that China will be mopping the floor with all of us in a couple of decades' time? Their future baseball domination will result from the same stuff as their near complete control of the global manufacturing game: desire to prove they can do it, and limitless resources. They look a bit sloppy now, but I don't think anybody will be laughing for very long.

Unrelated: Fantasy draft day tomorrow. Anybody have an opinion on how high to draft a catcher?

Long Distance Dedication

2009-02-27T17:44:00.000-08:00

This one goes out to Travis in Dunedin...
[That song is about baseball, right?]

The People United Will Never Be Divided

2009-02-24T18:50:00.000-08:00

Cue the groundswell of anti-Wells-in-CF sentiment among the people. Seems everyone -- the Drunkards, The Tao, even Bastian himself -- are calling for the removal of Money Earnin' from the vast expanses of centre field, to be shifted right (or left, as per Bastian's suggestion, with Lindy in RF) in order to allow Rios to take the middle. I'll throw my support behind the proposal; I love me a grassroots movement. I'll be the shivering idiot in the sandwich board out on the 115. Hell no, we won't go! Or something.

Wells is too valuable a hitter to let the wear and tear on his legs keep him out of 50 games a year. Rios is a damn gazelle out there, let him run -- his long, slender (and healthy) gams evoking happy memories of other, similarly-endowed CFs from the Jays past. If, as Blair says, the only way the brass move Wells is if Wells asks to be moved, then we have to appeal to the man himself. Send mail to:

Vernon Wells
c/o Toronto Blue Jays
1 Blue Jays Way, Suite 3200
Rogers Centre
Toronto, Ontario M5V 1J1

I figure the best approach is something along the lines of, Dear Mr. Wells, I love your work, etc., but there comes a time in every man's life when he must ask himself how he may be of service to others, and I believe your skills would best be put to use in left field, etc.

If that doesn't work I'll start circulating the petition.

Power to the People.

The Chronic

2009-02-23T19:12:00.000-08:00

Aw, shit. Vernon's glass, er, hamstring makes me nervous. Like the Southpaw says, it isn't that Money Earnin's going to miss anything crucial this time, it's that it seems increasingly likely that this thing will happen again. And again.

Shut Up Shut Up Shut Up

2009-02-22T19:03:00.000-08:00

Shut up Scott Miller I am not listening to you shut up I don't want to hear anymore of this shut up shut up shut up.

Five Things to Know About Scott Miller:

5. Hates babies and puppies.
4. Doesn't even like baseball.
3. Has to produce these things for all 30 teams before Spring Training is over, so he's tired, and alright, maybe doesn't have time to do, y'know, research, so leans pretty heavily on whispers and unsubstantiated rumours.
2. Two Ts, Two Ls.
1. Needs to shut up.

How long, Scott Miller? How long will Doc last in Toronto? Until the day he dies. That's how long.

Also:

If'n I had the means to do so, I'd be eager to see Brett Cecil make that start on Wednesday. Do we see him in The Five this season?

Elsewhere:

Ichiro loves Griffey! Quite honestly, this has the power to make me feel differently about the signing.

And I know it's easy to heap superlatives on someone's writing when their views mesh so well with your own, but USS Mariner's coverage of this whole thing has been great reading. And yes, Ichiro is a future HOFer (if there is any justice in the universe, which isn't a given, of course).

How in the Hell Did We Survive Before the Internet?

2009-02-21T04:21:00.000-08:00

Most of my baseball reading -- like about 90% of it -- takes place online now, and you're probably the same. It isn't that the MSM have completely failed in their coverage, or their quality has declined, or anything of the sort, but rather a matter of expedience and convenience, e.g. I can get Bastian's comments on life at 'The Mattick' as soon as he writes it. But as a kid, I lived for that point in the winter when the season preview magazines hit newsstands (er, the shelf at the convenience store). The things carried the weight of some mysterious authority. Before I knew that the cover images were tailored for different regions, I thought that seeing a Blue Jay featured on the cover meant that the editors, in their seasoned baseball wisdom, foresaw a Toronto World Series victory. And that carried a lot of import with me.

I picked one up recently -- specifically this one (I was at the airport in Atlanta). I wanted something lighter than the book I had, and frankly I wanted to think about baseball for a while. So I sat back and tore into it. But what struck me pretty quickly was how out of date it already was, owing to publication dates. They didn't know where anybody was. (It made me think, with great fondness, of those "Now With..." baseball cards -- do they still make those?)

It wasn't terrible, of course, and I suspect I'll make a bunch of notes in the magazine and keep it handy during my fantasy draft. But the discovery made me a little sad, too. I think I'm a tactile person, I like the object for its very object-ness, and realizing that something tangible no longer suited my purposes as well as did information on a screen felt like a loss, however minor.

Listen to me, now I'm a Luddite.

Mike Maroth: Cartoon Horse

2009-02-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

God bless poor Mike Maroth, who's come up lame but won't go quietly to the proverbial glue factory. Is he deluded or just a gamer? I love Cito's quote:

"It's not good," Gaston said. "You can't do a thing about it. It's another body, we've got to move on and see if we can find a different one -- somebody else. You feel bad for him, that's for sure. He's not done yet, but it's one of those things where you do need to be doing something in order to certainly make this team."

You get the sense that Cito'd be only too happy to administer the fatal shock himself, if only they'd let him. Sometimes it's the more humane path.

Also, there's this: Thanks to Joanna (via Canoe), I now know that Rod Barajas likes him some Law & Order. This is strange, because I have a theory that there are two kinds of people in the world: Those who prefer L&O, and those who favour CSI. I'd always pegged Barajas as a CSI man.

Breaking the Silence

2009-02-18T19:06:00.000-08:00

One by one the reluctant bloggers emerge to the pale light of a late winter sun. Hell, even Joanna's awake and alert, shaking off her crushing ennui. Rumour has it that despite the immediate evidence of snow falling outside my window, the venerable spring rituals are underway. Bastien says so. So I figured I owed it to my legions of readers, not to mention my lone Blogger Follower (big up, Lloyd), to drag my carcass out of hibernation and say a thing or two about baseball, specifically but not exclusively about the Jays, because that's what this here blog's reputedly about.

General thoughts: Toronto's not going to win the World Series this year. There, I said it. If I'm proven wrong, I'll be deliriously happy. But let's be honest. Does that mean it won't be worth watching this team? Well, so far as I'm concerned, even if they lose 100 games (which they won't), it'd still be worth tuning in every fifth game. And the ongoing theatre of the maturation of Lind and Snider will be fascinating. Will Overbay rebound? Can Rios put all the tools together at the same time? We probably know what'll happen with the reclamation projects (Clement, Maroth, Burres and to an extent Takahashi), i.e. nothing more than an all expenses paid tour of the Pacific Coast League, but who knows? Maybe Michael Barret wakes up and takes Barajas' job, the way Barajas wrested it from Zaunnie's calloused hands? And in the rotation, in what's become an annual ritual in Toronto, who steps up and surprises us all? How will Lil Litschie handle the pressure of being a number 2 guy? These are the storylines, among others, and they're the reason I watch. If I lost interest everytime this team wasn't picked to win the division, I'd be a Yankees fan. (Besides, Lloyd posits this team could overperform like the '03 Mariners, and it's that kind of longshot optimism that makes me love baseball and baseball fans.)

Jesus God, I love Roy Halladay. I love him and his "BBs in the dark." And let's instigate a total and complete ban on any and all talk of trading him this or any other season, deal? I want this man in a Toronto uniform until the day he dies at a ripe old age. I'm serious -- pitching coach, bench coach, eccentric clubhouse institution, spinning nightmare scenarios about the end of days and unhittable cut fastballs. Never leave us, Roy!

Kevin Millar, huh? What the hell, if he can make this team a little more interesting, I'm all for it. Because let's face it, we're Jays fans, but even we have to admit that there isn't a lot of character in this clubhouse.

Did we know about Robbie Alomar's health issue? Is there anything to know? Because I had never heard this, and you'd think it would've come out in the coverage of his addition to the Rogers Centre's Ring of Honour last spring.

G'bye Russ! G'bye Curtis!

Elsewhere:

Is A-Rod an idiot and an asshole? Of course. Would I scoff if he was available during my fantasy draft? I would not (lest you accuse me of possessing morals). And I'm still convinced this is Selig's fault more than anyone else, mostly because he looks like Emperor Palpatine.

With or without the approval of Willie Mays and, er, Harold Reynolds, I don't feel convinced that Griffey can provide anything more than feel-good vibes for people who haven't been to a game at Safeco for several years. But at least that whole thing is over. Now if only Manny would sign (Dodgers) or go to Japan for a year, then I could open my feeds tab in the morning without cringing.

Ichiro pitches! The legend grows.

That is all.

Called Out!

2009-01-23T17:11:00.001-08:00

The Drunkards, playground bullies of the Jays blogging community, rightly called me a lazy asshole when it comes to updating this blog. Six lousy posts since October, they say. My defense? Like many of our heroes, I like to take some time off in the off-season.

In truth, like Joanna at Hum & Chuck suggested, what the hell has there been to write about this winter? AJ left. I am neither shocked nor saddened. Let the Yankees have him and his diminishing returns. The brass seems to be only slightly more upfront about the team's chances for completing this coming season, indicating that it'll prove a valuable campaign only insofar as it provides the young'uns a chance to mature. Well alright, that's pretty damn exciting. Plenty there to rouse my from my winter torpor.

I could stretch it and get verbose over Rickey's rightful induction, Rice's pity induction (how many BBWAA members live in Boston, anyway?) or the retirement of one-time Jay Jeff Kent. But fuck it, I just haven't cared that much, and I'm not as adept at analysis (read: numbers) as some of you are. Know thyself, reads the maxim, and I know this: My insights into front office moves, minor league depth and the nuances of contract law simply aren't that trenchant. I'm not about to fake it -- that shit will get called out a lot faster than inactivity, and with a lot more scorn. So, knowing why I started this thing to begin with -- namely that I love baseball and thought, like every other idiot with a laptop, that that passion might make for some interesting reading for someone, somewhere -- I'll wait until I'm moved before I post something. I'm not going to treat it like a chore; that'd be stupid, and as unenjoyable for the reader(s?) as for the writer.

To summarize: No baseball, little writing. That might be my new masthead slogan. I should point out that this all shows signs of changing, though. Proof that my baseball jones is mounting lies in the fact that I think I'm buying tickets to the World Baseball Classic. You say that (some of) the world's best baseball players will be in Toronto, playing not for passion nor money but out of a grudging sense of national responsibility, or on the advice of agents who think that they'd better appear engaged heading into a contract year, and there are tickets available? Where do I click?

I know myself well enough to predict that I'll shake these blues soon, start wearing jerseys around the house, begin leafing through old Street & Smith's previews, and generally feel that familiar burn, all of which will probably result in increased activity here. In the meantime, I'll restrict my activities to reading the regular updaters.

December 31, 1972

2008-12-31T17:21:00.000-08:00

The illusion that lures us into the error of confounding Clemente's goodness as a man with his greatness as a ballplayer is that when a man is playing baseball well, as when a man is writing well, he seems to himself, in that moment, to be a better person than he really is. He puts it all together, he has all the tools, in a way that is impossible outside the lines of the ball field or the margins of the page. He shines, and we catch the reflected glint, and extend the shining one a credit for overall luminosity that almost nobody could merit. Clemente, I think, did; he shone with the grace and integrity of his play even when he was not on the field.

- Michael Chabon

Somewhere a Ghostrunner is Smiling

2008-10-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

Holy goddamn, but Rocco Baldelli turned on that Madsen offering. This has been, maybe, the strangest World Series ever -- barring maybe that earthquake thing in '89 -- and a dinger by a previously hitless right fielder who's just come back from a ton of time off while he battled a mitochondrial disorder is pretty much fitting.

Truthfully, I've gone back and forth on who to root for in this one because there's no natural object of my hatred. The Rays are just a feel-good story in search of a storybook ending, and as much as folks might try to manufacture a Jays-Phils rivalry (based on one World Series, I suppose), they really don't raise my ire. Besides, they've got Stairs.

But I think I've settled on the Rays though, because I'm drawn to stories of misery and self-loathing. Imagine the sheer intensity of the navel-gazing the city of Philadelphia would do if they came so close, only to have Mother Nature intervene and turn the tide of the Series. Holy shit, that'd be wondrously painful for a whole lot of people.

Also, the Rays kind of have a '69 Mets vibe happening, which is appealing, no?

Of course, as Pat the Bat leads off the bottom of the seventh with a double, this one just might be done regardless of who I'm maybe kind of sorta pulling for in a halfhearted manner.

UPDATE: And Then That Happened

As per usual, life isn't waiting for me to make up my mind. Phils win, Phils win. Just me, or was that a particularly boring victory celebration? I guess we've seen it all by now, but that sequence where we saw the reaction of every single Phillies position player when the last out was recorded -- that was a bit painful, was it not? I don't know how to spice it up, but it all seems a bit rote these days.

Anyway, regarding Rocco and the Rays, it's like my dad told me once. On the topic of happiness, he said, "You only get moments. Rare, rare moments."

And regarding baseball season: holy shit, it's over.

God Bless Matt Stairs

2008-10-15T20:33:00.000-07:00

The impending Phillies-Rays World Series is probably a ratings nightmare in the making, but for us ball fans, it promises thrills. I mean, holy shit. The Rays? They look flat out unbeatable, and they're the most recent poster children for doing it right with a low payroll. And as for the Phillies, atta'boy Matt Stairs. We were all sorry to see him go, but at least he's going to get to play in a World Series.

Whatev.

So, yeah, Paul Beeston is the Jays new interim CEO, the latest name exhumed from the glory years to make folks believe it's '93 all over again (it might be, for the Phils). I'm like: psssht, whatevs. Maybe there's more to this, maybe not. Don't care. Give me this sort of news in baseball-starved January and I'll eat it up; right now I just want to see somebody do something in Philadelphia or Tampa Bay that'll be worth remembering 20 years from now, just like I'm sitting here remembering something that happened 20 years ago tonight.

Mariners to Draft Long-dead Jazz Guitarist?

2008-10-10T12:06:00.001-07:00

Probably it's the unrepentant jazz geek in me, but I'm very happy to hear that the Mariners, who have the second pick in next year's draft, might consider taking USC shortstop Grant Green.

He's a genuine prospect, and will probably make an impact at the Major League level, provided he can keep off the H. As long as he's clean, he'll deliver clean running lines, bluesy solos and boppish runs. If he strays onto the horse's back, though, he'll go silent for a few years, then come back with some weak-ass pop-funk shit.

I hope the Mariners know what they're doing.

Pffffffttt...

2008-10-09T18:15:00.001-07:00

Old news now, but holy crap. Aramis, what gives? Mr. Lee? Et tu, Fukudome? If I'm a Los Angeles Angel of Anaheim, I'm disappointed right now. If I'm a Cub, I'm embarrassed.

One hundred and one years, maybe?

Sign Manny

2008-10-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

Maybe he's just a bit eccentric, and maybe he doesn't always hustle, but what Manny Ramirez did in the sixth inning tonight was RIDICULOUS. There are very few human beings capable of going down and getting to a pitch like that, and fewer who can put it over the wall. And to my knowledge, there are no others who will be free agents after the 2008 World Series. I do not care who JP has to ask for permission to do this; going out and nabbing Manny this off-season should be job 1. Don't tell me he wouldn't love to come back to the AL East to stick it to the Red Sox with regularity.

Ah, the Postseason

TBS sucks. Dick Stockton is too old for this. And I'm too lazy to look this up, but where in the hell is Tony Gwynn from? Who talks like that? He sounds like an animated childrens' character, not a Hall of Fame hitter. And he does not sound like an -- oh, well, you know. We all think it, everytime he opens his mouth. Don't you lie to me. If I went ahead and said it, this would be a different blog.

The exception to TBS' suckery is, of course, Tom Verducci on the sidelines. (Sidelines? That doesn't sound right for baseball. "Foul territory reporter" is more accurate, but unwieldy, so we'll stick with "sideline reporter.")

But afternoon playoff baseball is just supremely fantastic. Am I right? Phils-Brewers before dinner, are you kidding me? That's flat-out righteous. Too bad it's just the early rounds; I wish MLB would wake the fuck up and schedule some afternoon World Series games. I know, I know, ratings are more important that attracting a new generation of fans, but damn it, I'm tired of waking up tired.

It Doesn't Look Good for the Cubs

It's quieter than a library at Wrigley right now, as Russell Martin just mashed one out in the ninth, making it 7-2 Dodgers. Christamighty, I didn't expect a score like that. Get'em in game 2, Big Zed.

Damn, Dick Stockton just told me that the team that has won game one of a Division Series has won 24 of 28 of said series. Well, I guess if you're trying to break a century-long championship drought, you're already looking at beating some long odds, right? Cubs in 5.

The Bottom of the Order's 2008 Regular Season Wrap-Up

2008-09-28T19:30:00.000-07:00

Part-Time Lover

You have to admire my commitment to a motif, don't you? All season long, I've been late with the news and reactions, if I've been there at all. And now I'm late with my season wrap-up, originally intended for posting on Sunday night. I understand now why most of the blogs in the Jays universe who manage to post daily or near-daily content marry the work of more than one contributor. A little like the Jays, I more or less limped to the finish of the '08 season, and now it's time to regroup, assess damages, and determine priorities for next season. Whatever form this blog takes in going into '09 isn't yet clear, but I do intend to be back. In the meantime, I'll be around for the postseason and for what comes after -- deals, near-deals, recriminations, winter meetings and those inescapable longings for baseball that strike in the dead of January.

Take These Broken Wings

It's all over but the crying. Look, there's plenty of blame to go around. We all had high hopes, reasons for optimism. The pieces were there, and they might not be next year.

It seems to me that, at different times, everything was in place, but never at the same time. The pitching was the only constant, give or take a few games, and beyond that you had flashes of brilliance amid disappointing stretches for the guys the Jays were counting on. Once Hill went down, there was a hell of a lot of shifting going on around the infield, and that had its ripple effects. Scutaro proved a nifty pick-up as a result, going where he was told and acquitting himself capably.

The injuries didn't help, and neither did the time it took to sort out the mess in left field. Below-expected offensive performance is the big culprit, of course, a huge letdown from what we thought we'd see going into the year. But I'll side with Lloyd the Barber and say that it was still a pretty damn good season to watch the Jays. Maybe that's just my quick-setting historical revisionism at work, but what the hell. Cito's aim of finishing ten games over .500 was, in fact, a bang on prediction, and that'd give them the NL West, so that's something. I mean, you know, if they switched leagues and if the Big One would just hurry up and swallow up everything west of the Ontario-Manitoba border, or whatever. And, and, we all got swept up there, for a few brief, shining moments in September -- September, mind -- and it was exciting and awesome and we dared to think that a Wild Card might be ours. How amazing was that?

Requiem for a Dream Forestalled

There's an ineffable sadness linked to the final Sunday of the season, it seems to me, at least when your team is missing the playoffs for the umpteenth consecutive season. They play nine, like they've done 161 times previous, only once the 27th out is recorded, everybody's going home, just like that. It happens so quickly. Just ask Mets fans.

But there's always next year, so they say, and it's not to early to crow about our chances in 2009. There are buckets of positives. We have the best pitcher in baseball, for one. We'll have a full season to see what Lind can do. Maybe we'll have that elusive big hitter to anchor the middle of the order -- there are a few candidates available this winter. And who knows, we might even have AJ back.

You Lift Me Up

Just one last awkward, slobbery kiss for those non-official outlets of Jays news, conjecture and hilarity that brightened my world on a daily basis. The Tao, the Drunkards, the Lefties, and the rest -- they're all up there on the links list. But I want to reserve a special word for the Ghostrunners' Wednesdays with JP schtick: that shit was funny. Also, Hum & Chuck's Ballad of Doc and AJ was as touching as anything on Oprah's list, and more true.

Thanks, y'all. Though I wouldn't have thought it possible, you make baseball even more enjoyable.

Does 20 Matter?

2008-09-25T16:15:00.001-07:00

As I write this the Jays and the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre Yankees are just getting underway in the last hogtown home game of '08 (look at all those wingnuts going apeshit for their beloved boys in blue!). Halladay makes his 33rd and final start, his lone shot at 20 wins on the season (though I suspect it wouldn't take much begging from Cito for Roy to agree to start all their remaining games -- off-days are for lesser men and mere boys). I don't need to tell you that the last time The Ace won 20 was '03, when he nabbed his Cy Young, and Roy's not going to reach that season's total of 22 bedpost notches, but in every other respect he's been better. In every peripheral category, The Inning Eater has bettered his '03 numbers, and the only thing missing, of course, has been run support (5.67 runs/game then vs. 4.48 this year). Anemic bats are his W-L kryptonite.

When I was a kid, and the world was dewy and green and splendid, and polution hadn't yet begun, and America was sexy, wins were really all that were used to determine a pitcher's greatness. I think Ws and Ls were all they put on the back of Opee-Chees (and maybe strikeouts). They used the extra room for the French translation of those zingy factoids. Who the fuck cared what Dwight Gooden's WHIP was, or his K/BB ratio? Dude was 17-9 as a rookie, and 24-4 in '85 -- of course he was good (and always would be, right?).

Of course, since the internet and all these web-logs have sprung up, we've all developed calculators for brains (I'm right about that, aren't I? People are smarter now?), we've begun to see the demise of the W as the sole stat in determining a pitcher's worth (Fanks, Bill James!). If that proverbial coffin required a final nail, Roy's '08 season will do, because, whether he ends up with 19 or 20 victories, that number won't do justice to the season he's gifted us with. I know the sense that good pitchers get wins and bad ones don't -- period -- will linger in many minds, maybe forever. I know this after trying to convince my father of the fallacy of the W-L tally on several frustrating occasions, most recently while seated in the nosebleeds at Yankee Stadium, and discussing Mike Mussina's HOF credentials, or possible lack thereof. My father's ironclad defense in this or most any debate: "Call me old-fashioned, but I think 20 wins still means something." Ugh.

That said, obviously I'm pulling for Roy to get his 20th tonight, if only because it means he'll get a little more attention around the rest of baseball, where Toronto remains a provincial outpost about which little is known, and about which few care to learn. Also, to hell with the Yankees. I suggested in my last post that we were playing for third place. Well, er, we've lost two straight to the Yanks' scrubs, so maybe playing for Roy's 20th is a more realistic goal.

No doubt I'm biased, but Jeter's right, and so's GWB (and that is the only time I will ever say that): Halladay is the best damn pitcher in baseball. You can have your Cliff Lees and your Brandon Webbs and your damn Jobas; Harry Leroy Halladay is our ace and I hope it stays that way for seasons to come.

UPDATE -- How Fitting

A complete game victory. Beautiful. And the hugs with AJ and Arnsberg, and the pie in the face; perfect. And maybe I'm reading too much into it all, but there was something sorta kinda like a playoff atmosphere tonight at Ted's House, and it gave me a thought: if this team does make the postseason sometime in the next few years, is there any doubt whatsoever that Doc will prove himself a rock solid big game pitcher? Think about it: it's a crime against wee helpless orphans and Mother Nature that Halladay has never tasted October baseball. The Fates willing, it's an injustice we'll one day see righted.

What We're Playing For

2008-09-24T06:54:00.000-07:00

Last night's game was just the tonic for a fanbase feeling dyspeptic from frustrated expectations, impending rotation breakdowns, and the prospect of yet another lonely October. Sure, the Yanks won, and that's plenty shitty, but the game felt like it meant something, and that gave me a charge. There's always a little animosity between Toronto and New York (AL), whether because they share a division, or because A-Rod is something less than a gentleman, or because the Hogtowners are trying to shrug off the inferiority complex they covertly direct at Gothamites while prattling on about diversity and cleanliness and relative safety (this, secretly, is kind of nice to see for me, since I grew up in Ottawa and have to endure on an ongoing basis the Sens-Leafs rivalry which is, in the 613 area code, merely the mask applied to Ottawans' hatred of Torontonians and their World Class City status, while Ottawa, nominally the capital of Canada, wallows in cultural provinciality [Jesus, I'm glad I moved out of Ottawa]).

Anyway, what with all the love directed at the Yankee Empire recently, and their now-abandoned ballyard (I was guilty, sure, all that Bronxian smog and grit obscuring my judgment, as well the massive Foster's I was able to track down, but then so too was Lloyd the Barber moved to say a kind word or two), it was nice to be reminded that these are the Yankees, and we hate the Yankees. Last night's game was full of spleen and invective, and it was a hell of a lot more intense than you might expect from two teams in a dogfight for third place. But it was obvious that both teams want to see the other finish in fourth.

So what, I hear you saying. Who cares how far out of the playoffs the Jays finish, the point is that they missed the playoffs -- again. Bullshit, I say. It might be third place, but it's our third place. Now let's take it back.

On Baseball and Being a Member of the Aging Punk Rock Alumni

2008-09-19T05:04:00.000-07:00

Why do I love baseball? Easy, Champ. Same reason I loved punk rock (and am now a card-carrying member of the aging punk rock alumni, though you'd never know it from my clever mild-mannered housedad disguise), and why I love free jazz now: you never know what's going to happen. These days, this is especially true when BJ Ryan enters the game.

Meanwhile, in Seattle

2008-09-18T05:13:00.001-07:00

I haven't had much to say about the Mariners this year, due mostly to the fact that there hasn't been much to say about the Mariners this year. They're stumbling through the worst season in team history. It's been ugly.

But then there's Ichiro. The Human Awesome has quietly gone and put together another incredible season, and last night he notched his 200th hit of 2008. For the 8th season in a row. My only question: will he employ a translator for his Hall induction speech?

But in other M's news, it comes to light now that Erik Bedard's got a torn labrum. USS Mariner suggests that we've seen the last of Bedard in a Seattle uniform, meaning that ex-GM Bill Bavasi traded the farm to Baltimore for 80 innings of starting work. Hard to argue that's not "the worst trade in franchise history."

The question becomes, can whoever takes over at GM rebuild while keeping the few essential pieces (Ichiro, Felix, Morrow, maybe a few others) in place?

Take heart, Jays fans. You could be Mariners fans.

Long Time Gone

2008-09-17T20:33:00.001-07:00

They don't make 'em like they used to

Much has transpired since the last time I checked in here (despite assurances that I'd be a more regular presence -- what can I say?). I won't rehash; there are a ton of good, regularly updated Jays-related blogs out there that you probably read daily.

But part of my excuse has to do with baseball. I was in New York, at both doomed ballparks, Shea and Yankee Stadium.

The Mets game (v. Braves, with Santana scheduled) was rained out, alas, but I can report that Mets fans are a friendly bunch, that the sausage was good and the beer, well, cold anyway. The seats scored from StubHub were very good (they were behind home in the mezzanine level, not in the right field upper deck as suggested by that photo), and I imagine would've provided excellent views of players actually engaged in playing baseball. Oh well.

As for Yankee Stadium, well, it's the damndest thing. You despise the Yankees and you tell yourself that what's left at 161st and River Ave. is not the original, legendary House that Ruth Built, but a vintage '76 redo, a Steinbrenner bastardization, a hacked up corpse of a legendary ballpark.

But then you go there. And damned if there aren't chills a-multiplyin' up and down your spine. It really is a thing to see, and I'm glad that I got to witness the 10th-last game ever played there. Glad, too, that the Rays won 7-1. Because impressive ballpark or no, to hell with the Yankees.

The view from our seats in the upper deck

[Thanks again to Kingman at Loge 13 for the tips on what to see and do at Shea. Didn't get to do everything, but much appreciated nonetheless.]

Several Different Varieties of Awesome

2008-09-04T05:35:00.000-07:00

Is it me, or is this team playing some exciting baseball games right now? None moreso than last night. Sure, the normally reliable bullpen blew it (twice), but Our Boy Travis collected the most meaningful hits of his short major league career, and Johnny Mac knocked in the game winner. Also, Inglett? Power? What?

Nice to know that, if in fact this team is completely, 100% and totally out of contention, we still have some damn good baseball to look forward to.

OMFG Like Is It Rilly True OMFG?!?!?!?!

2008-08-29T03:23:00.000-07:00

Seriously? Here I was all ready to go with a bit about how I love optimism and hope as though it were a tremulous pink flower, fragrant, precious, unique, etc. but even I have to admit that, heck, it's just about September and they've dropped 2 of 3 to Tampa and really, though I might try to squint at the standings and make them say what I want them to, it's just about over for this tease of a baseball team, but hey, at least they have a winning record, and maybe the reason to watch in September will be to see just how winning they'll end up (Cito's .500 + 10? Better? Worse?) and how the call ups fare. But this call up? Never did I dream!

Maybe that's JP's thinking -- keep 'em glued. I mean, I'll watch baseball anyway, at any time, contention be damned (I'm still tuning into M's games when Sportsnet deigns to show them, fer chrissakes), but now, well now I have to watch. Because either it'll be amazing and Snider will rake like Redford in that movie and we'll all think this is exactly what we had all hoped for, or he'll struggle and I'll watch through my fingers thinking, Jesus, Toronto, did you just ruin this phenom's career by bringing him up to early? Either way, high drama.

I'll miss Stairs like that badass uncle who livens up an otherwise staid family gathering by drinking too many Lakeports and talking to you about chicks, but then leaves early because he's got another barbeque to 'hit', but I'm comforted by the thought that maybe he'll find himself in the playoffs this season.

Believing is Art

2008-08-27T05:15:00.000-07:00

Few things on this Earth can prove as consistently satisfying as watching Roy Halladay pitch a baseball game. It is like poetry. Terse, spare poetry.

I regret not having been alive to watch Roberto Clemente patrol right at Forbes Field. I regret not being wealthy and living in Seattle and thus being unable to buy M's season tickets to watch Ichiro's greatness unfold over a whole season.

But I can watch Roy (thanks, Sportsnet!) every time he pitches, and that is a beautiful human experience. I admit to perhaps taking his skill and efficiency for granted before this year, but things are different now, and I will never be guilty of that again. Cy Young or not, this is perhaps his best season, and even if Toronto fails to make a run at the Wild Card, I will have enjoyed 2008 for Halladay's performance alone. It is my fondest wish that Halladay should retire a Blue Jay.

Take last night, for example. Even when he got in a jam in the 6th, he was unflappable, and I never doubted he would get the job done.

How incredible is it to have a pitcher who surprises you when he doesn't go the full 9?

And now, if you will excuse me, I must build a shrine to this man.

Another Weekend Gone

2008-08-25T02:21:00.000-07:00

Well, damn. Sunday felt kind of like the long, grueling payback for Saturday's excesses, didn't it?

The '08 Jays are kind of like that party-addled friend you had back in your early twenties -- good for a laugh, and capable of some amazing stuff, but maybe, probably, likely, not there for you when it counted. Two steps forward, two steps back.

But maybe, like a bad buddy comedy, he pulls if off in the end? With every passing series, the odds the Jays can arrange that kind of miraculous ending grow increasingly remote.

Still, those were some good times, weren't they?

Marcum Demoted?

Wha?I'm beginning to suspect that the Toronto brass has different sense of what the minors are for than many of the rest of us. Are they teaching Marcum a lesson, or does he have mechanical troubles similar to those that got Litsch sent down (and, of course, his were miraculously cured -- we can hope for a repeat). Cheer up, Shaun, Syracuse is a hell of a town.

The Olympics are Stupid and I Can Prove It

Baseball is no longer an Olympic sport, but BMX racing is? Seriously? I understand the ratings boost that beach volleyball might provide, but BMX?

Oh, and congrats to South Korea.

This is AWESOME

2008-08-21T18:21:00.001-07:00

The Jays are laying a hurt on the Yanks as I write this (13-0) behind Doc, and it feels pretty good to be a Jays fan right now. I know that there's a hell of a way to go, and that blind optimism is foolhardy, and that this club has done its level best to tinge all enthusiasm in hues reminiscent of caution tape, but I'll be fucked if I can't say that right now, I think this team has a real chance. Outside shot, sure, but maybe they're the '08 version of the '07 Rockies? Only with less God-chatter, mehopes.

I've been kept away from the laptop though I've been yearning to write about the team for the last week+. (Actually, the laptop was handy, it was the satellite TV that hadn't yet been installed, meaning that my only baseball fix came via the wireless, and that makes for a less informed commentator, I figure.) Last weekend? How great was that? Doc eats lesser men and craps them toward the cellar of the AL East. The Beantown Beatdown was a hundred different varieties of sweet. And tonight? Tonight is Valhalla. Tonight is a well-stocked paradise. Tonight is 2-for-1 beers night at your local. Tonight is your first time and your wedding night and the birth of your first and your retirement party all rolled into one. Beating anybody is lovely, but punishing the Yankees for simply being the Yankees is bliss. By watching that third inning, I became a better person.

I know, I know, this team is a longshot. A lot of teams stand between them and the postseason, and I'll probably be full of expletives and invective come mid-September, but part of fandom is playing the role, right?

Go Jays.

PPD.

2008-08-15T17:51:00.001-07:00

I know we've all said this fourteen dozen times this year, but this series is a damn crucial one for the Jays (as are the next several, while we're at it -- as the Reverend of Ghostrunners fame points out, 27 of their last 40 games are against the competition in the AL East). This is the kind of series you await with jitters; the kind of series that causes shitty sportswriters to invoke the phrase 'gut-check time.' The fact that the first game is a rainout feels just about right for this team this year.

Who ever said love was easy?

Holy Crap!

2008-08-13T19:50:00.000-07:00

Three in a row! But barely! Rios boots one! Downs is hurt! And Wells cranks a grand salami! Holy!

Also

Seattle dangles Ibanez in front of JP's salivating maw at the deadline, then pulls back, only to maybe, probably trade him into our division. Crap!

Holy Crap! The National League Edition

Holy crap! Talk about runs -- didja see what the Cubbies did to the Bravies in today's day-night doubleheader? An aggregate of 18-2! Yowsa!

But then, the Cubs had better reel off some wins, what with the undefeated-as-a-Brewer CC Sabathia intent on dragging Milwaukee into the playoffs for the first time since I began my public school education! Holy crap!

I Have Seen the Future

2008-08-12T03:48:00.000-07:00

If all shakes down right, the outfield we're seeing now should be the Jays' starting outfield for years to come. As long as, you know, Vernon stops landing on himself funny and Rios maintains a consistent grip on his stroke. But Lind looks great, doesn't he?

For real, major league rosters are fluid things, and there's really no telling what the starting L-C-R trio will be in 2010 or beyond, but if all three of those guys play to their potential (matching, or even approaching, career bests for Wells and Rios, while Lind becomes the kind of player we've all been waiting for him to become, and sorta like he looks right now), then I like the hell out of our outfield. I'd put it up against anybody's.

If, on the other hand, Lind fizzles, Wells continues to play tag with the DL (and generally suck it up when he is healthy), and Rios seems more interested in his neat-o RC helicopters than with crushing hanging breakers, well then we're saddled with a sorry bunch. (These either/or scenarios make baseball interesting, don't they?) But hey, I hear Shannon Stewart's available.

And about that... Keeping Stewart coming out of Spring Training made sense. The fact that it didn't work out does not ipso facto mean that it was a bad move. And just because Reed Johnson hasn't dragged the Chicago Cubs down into oblivion does not indicate that JP went with the wrong guy. The Jays played the numbers. In the end, all they needed was a placeholder for Lind, anyway. Lind's in, Shannon's out and Reed's in Wrigleyville. All seems fine to me.

The Litsch is Back

Jesse returns from the 'Cuse to start Thursday, pushing poster boy for Canadian politeness Scott Richmond ("Want me to miss the Olympics? Okay. The bullpen? I'll defer to your experience here, sir.") to the bullpen. Cito says that the issues that Jesse was sent down to work on (like, say, blowing a tire as May rolled over into June) have been resolved. We'll see. You have to wonder, when a starter hits a shitty streak like Litsch did, how much is mechanics and how much is mental. Might have been Litsch's youth showing. I was a "Jesse for 5th Starter" standard bearer out of Dunedin, and I think he's a number five guy going forward, so long as he can avoid streaks like the one he suffered through. Or maybe history will see that I'm wrong. Who frigging knows?

And Another Thing

They played a game last night... and won! Take a look at that box score. A thing of beauty, no? RBIs for Rios, Wells, Stairs, Barajas (3!) and Lind. Good lines from Marcum, League, Downs and Ryan. Things working as they should. Had they not been swept by the Indians (!), we might be looking at some real momentum here.

Oh God, You Devil

2008-08-11T05:29:00.000-07:00

This hurts. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.

You can argue that Rolen's offensive numbers this year don't compare favourably to Glaus' from last year, and that the trade therefore didn't make sense for the Jays, especially given that Rolen has hit the DL for the very shoulder that represented the deal's big question mark. But then there's the defense. And then, then there's the fact that, as far as I'm concerned, it is without question more enjoyable to watch a team which features Scott Rolen. I hate to invoke intangibles here, but there's something about Rolen's head-down, mouth-shut posture, his workmanlike attitude, that rubs me the right way. Oh, and watching him play third base. Hot damn, I love to watch the man play third base.

Get well soon, Mr. Rolen. Because, as much as I'd love to see this team go on a tear and work themselves into contention, I'd also like to simply enjoy watching them, and I'm not sure seeing Scutaro at third will give me quite the same feeling (even if Johnny Mac is playing immediately to his left).

Imagine

2008-07-27T04:00:00.001-07:00

A Thought
I'm about to enter radio silence here (again), as I'll be without regular internet access -- or a home -- for the next week or ten days or so, but before I go, a thought...

Imagine it was April again, or still, and that you are a passionate Blue Jays fan, and your beloved team has just turned in an impressive performance such as last night's 8-3 thumping of the Mariners. Doesn't your heart enlarge with thoughts of what might be to come? Aren't you pleased to see the machine firing on all cylinders, just as we had expected it to? To see Stairs hitting like that dude who used to play minor league ball but now tees off on your beer league pitching (that's how I always see Matt Stairs, FYI)? To see Alex Rios playing like Alex Rios should? Aren't your eyes damp, even just a little, when you think about how well the Jays stack up against in division rivals? And would you believe me if I told you that the Rays would be in first place in late July?

Instead, of course, having watched better than half a season, we know that such a performance is a rarity that only serves to highlight just how much utter crappiness this team has shown us. Call it an incredible series of bad breaks -- and yes, I take the point that they have had a few terrible stretches that have loused up the rest of the season -- but a little consistency was all that was needed. Is that too much to ask?

I'm chuzzed by this recent hot streak, of course. Any fan would be. But, like Tiffany said, It could have been so beautiful. There exists the outside chance that they could ascend the rankings and actually play some meaningful games in late September (and October), but realistically, Cito's .500 + 10 seems like a pretty decent goal right about now.

But imagine it was April...

The Last Round
The Jays could drive a trident through the heart of the Mariners this afternoon, but they'll have to get through future Yankee Jarrod Washburn to do it. For the home side, Marcum tries again to find his post-DL groove.

If It Can't Be Me
It should have been Tom Cheek, but if it's not, it might as well be Dave Niehaus entering the Hall of Fame. The deckhands aboard USS Mariner have a nice note up, a word of thanks and congratulations to their great broadcaster. Maybe next year it'll be us penning heartfelt remembrances to the voice of our team on the eve of his induction. Maybe.

The Wrap Up
You kids be good while I'm out. Be kind, do good work. Thank you, and good night.

...And the Earth Trembed

2008-07-26T04:31:00.001-07:00

Death! Destruction! Walk-off Wins!

See? Do you see what I am saying? Not even nine innings were sufficient for these two juggernauts to settle the first phase of their historic duel. Incredible! In the end, a hero named Inglett decided how the battle should end.

Full Tell

I missed it. Figured when the M's scored in the top of the 10th that it was over, went to bed. I was tired. Sue me.

Second Phase

Purcey vs. Dickey!

This is Gonna Be Huge

2008-07-25T12:51:00.000-07:00

A Warning To the Unwitting

Over the course of the next three days, the world will witness a spectacle unlike any other heretofore seen in this mortal realm. I speak, of course, of the impending series pitting the now-buoyant Blue Jays against the hungry Mariners. Walls will crumble. Fates will be decided. Expectations will be lowered.

Run to the hills.

It all begins tonight when the Poet faces the Piranha (that’d be Batista [4-11] up against Parrish [1-0]).

In the days ahead, these two powerhouses continue their epic struggle, charging bolt-throwing immortals with the task of hurling an orb from a mound of earth (bolt-throwing immortals who won't include Bedard, Halladay or Burnett, but, um, still) at massive, club-wielding men. The Rogers Centre will tremble to its very foundations, surely. Verily, the gods await the outcome of this awesome string of contests with great interest.

For real, though, woeful as the Mariners might (unexpectedly) be, if you live in Toronto, how can you pass up the opportunity to see The Human Awesomeness that is Ichiro?

Wasn't that incredible? The Republica song, I mean. So catchy. What ever happened to Saffron, anyway?

All Hail Our New Leader

2008-07-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

Maybe Adam Lind just capitalized on woeful pitching last night, but who cares? If that wins 10-8 ballgames, then here's hoping more Jays learn by his example.

And, as a side note, I have made it known that I'd be an inconsistent presence around these parts, a specter, an apparition, and I've been true to that promise. But the end is near! More regular, half-thought-out conjecture and knee-jerk analysis are but weeks away! Watch this space.

Also, I'll be visiting both Yankee Stadium and Shea Stadium before their death knells sound, and I couldn't be more excited. Hat tip to the great Mets/Shea blog Loge 13 for stoking my excitement concerning that doomed ballpark. If you visit the site, be sure to read the About page. It's a nice piece of writing and a ground-level view of how the economics of new ballparks affect the everyday fan (i.e. not corporations, and not millionaires).

Your Two Minutes Hate Begins...

2008-06-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

...now! (In case you hadn't heard, J-to-tha-izzo-B-to-tha-izzay takes the hill tonight in the Bronx for his first Major League start. Look for Doc to humble the boy wonder in workmanlike fashion.)

Falling into Place

2008-05-05T05:32:00.000-07:00

You knew pitching like that couldn't go unrewarded much longer.

I've been scarce around here, and have failed to comment on any of the 4 wins the Jays have strung together since that abysmal roadtrip stumbled to its inevitable conclusion. That has been the result of real life (read: non-baseball) responsibilities, but as the streak grew, it came to possess a momentum of its own. Sometime early Sunday I thought, What if my failure to post is all that's making them win?!

That's a stupid line of thinking, but if you're a baseball fan I dare you to tell me you haven't had similar thoughts at some point in time. It's the philosophy behind the rally cap. It's why boxer shorts, t-shirts and jocks sometimes go unwashed. Its hockey corollary is the playoff beard. It's myopic and self-centered, but it's a tempting thought, and proof that fans are wont to seriously invest emotionally in their teams.

But rationality prevails this morning; clearly, it's the continuation of some absolutely absurdly amazing pitching, coupled with some actual offense that has the Jays winning in May. The second half of the equation was, of course, sorely lacking for most of April, and the results were horrid.

The line separating these wins from those loses still feels razor-thin, though, and they serve as a heady reminder of the precariousness of baseball streaks. I'd be more comfortable if Toronto cashed even a few more of their RISP (7/33 in May), built huuuge leads, and had to lean less on their starters. Still, Ws are Ws.

My Commitment is Less Than Total

As I hinted up there a few short paragraphs ago, I got things going on, real life stuff, that has and will continue to prevent me from posting as often as I'd like. Basically, prepping a house for sale in a matter of weeks. You know all those things you look at every day and think, One day I gotta get to that? Well, imagine learning that you have a few weeks to get them all done. It means a lot of paint, some drywall, a ton of elbow grease, some grass seed, yada yada. Most importantly, it means listening to games instead of watching them, and not having time to write about them when they're done. But it has also underscored for me the incredible commitment shown by my fellow bloggers. Guys like The Tao, the Ghostrunners, the Southpaw and the Drunkards (and everybody else I'm forgetting to mention) do this because they love it, and they do it every damn day. Whatever shit Buzz Bissinger says, you guys are fun to read, and you make me a better baseball fan.

Anyway, when all this is over, I'll be closer to the Jays, and (probably? hopefully?) back to posting on a regular basis.

What must I do?!

2008-04-30T05:45:00.001-07:00

Bush League

2008-04-29T03:49:00.000-07:00

Strike one.

The Ottawa Rapids' new ownership has only been at the helm a few days, and already they've blundered.

They scrapped what was a very decent name, logo and colour scheme and come up with what looks like something your bus driver's slo-pitch team wears.

Really, guys? RAPIDZ? Do you figure the kidz dig that irreverent spelling? Gives the team a little street cred?

What I dug about the Rapids name was that, though this is a low minor league team, they opted for a classy image and name. They were not MuckDogs, or Rox, or DiamondJaxx. The name had local grounding, and it had dignity. The 'O' logo -- which figured to adorn the cap -- was strong. Now? Well, look at that thing... They've replaced a good logo, one that I'd be proud to wear, with something that looks slapped together and cheap. And as for the 'Z', well, fuck me. That's about the lamest thing a team can do, all in the interest of -- what, exactly? What demographic are we reaching that was alienated by the name Rapid(e)s? Among what group does an extraneous 'z' hold cache? Will this enable the team to sell more merch? I'd wager, judging by the reactions over at Out of Left Field and Carl Kiiffner's Rapids blog, that this might adversely affect sales.

I think there was something to be said for leaving the red behind. I understand that as a city, Ottawa has a widespread identification with the colour red (Senators, 67s, and several incarnations of CFL teams have all used red to greater and lesser extents, as did the second Lynx uniform design, of course). But wasn't there an element of moving away from the old team, the previous inhabitants of our ballpark, in the new colour motif? I thought so.

The new owners have bungled, and have done so, one suspects, for all the wrong reasons. I'm compelled to ask: will the players be wearing Zip.ca logos on their uniforms? Or is it a coincidence that the new colour scheme matches that of the owners' other venture?

FULL DISCLOSURE: In a former life, I used to know Messrs. Anderson and Hall, and when I heard their purchase of this team was about to be announced, I cringed. In my experience, their management style is extremely hands on, bordering on micromanagement, and I worry they won't be able to leave the operation of the baseball team to baseball people. This logo/name misstep is the result of heavy-handed intrusion into something that had already been done, and done well. I am also suspicious of their aims -- fearful that their ultimate tack is to use the team as a canvas for advertising Zip.

They're in the hole now, behind 0-1. Stay tuned to see if they can battle their way out.

And being as opposed to the 'z' as I am, you won't see any mention of 'Rapidz' on this site, only Rapids.

Meanwhile, In Seattle

2008-04-25T13:21:00.000-07:00

Baseball is Great

God bless the brave sailors aboard the USS Mariner, whose particular brand of woe-is-us boosterism makes the varied and dissenting voices of the Jays blogging community seem like naive schoolchildren incapable of doubting their heroes ("We'll turn this around yet, fellas!").

Allow me to apply some of that Jays fan positivity (which probably has its roots in Canadian politeness; either that or we're still real chuzzed to have our very own baseball team in the frozen, miserable north, and it's a pleasure just to watch them play): Master Ichiro will soon regain his form. Putz is back, and will soon begin a streak of saves that will not abate until the autumn winds return to buffet Puget Sound. And Bedard will be back, tossing nasty lefty curveballs that befuddle and confound the rest of the AL West. And even if none of that happens, Seattlites, isn't is great just to have your very own baseball team? And if any city knows the pain of not having a baseball team, after having a baseball team, briefly, and then going to court because some asshole used car dealer/future league commissioner stole your baseball team, only to have a team awarded to your city a few years later because you raised such a legal stink, surely it's you, Seattle. But more on that in a sec.

Doubting, Thomas

CBS Sportsline is pretty shitty, I know. I probably shouldn't bother reading their baseball stuff, because it's generally more frustrating than informative, but it shows up right there on my iGoogle page, and I don't have to type or do a lot of extra clicking, or anything. Easy!

Suckiness case in point: even in the wake of Hurt's signing with the A's, Sportsline leaves up pieces about the likelihood or advisability of other teams signing him. Stupid, right? But even stupider is this article about Richie Sexson's woes, raking that lanky lad over the coals for his pithy April output, and using Thomas as a weapon to threaten poor Richie with a bludgeoning (or unemployment).

I don't want to steal Fire Joe Morgan's schtick, but look at that title:

Mariners waiting for Sexson's slumbering lumber to wake up

Really, CBS Sportsline? Really? Is "slumbering lumber" the new stand-in euphemism for ED?And that picture? If you're trying to be funny, ouch. If you're not, bravo! Unintentional funny beats hard-fought laughs every time. It's like being cool, or using the Force: there is no try, only do.

Who's the Pilot?

Have I discussed my fascination with the Seattle Pilots here yet? No? Well...

I think it started when I was 13 and my parents took me to the Hall of Fame. No, hear me out - I'll be quick. I got a bunch of swag from the Cooperstown gift shop, including a book of baseball trivia. Near the back of that book there was a picture of a skeleton wearing a Pilots cap and the caption read: Seattle Pilots, 1969-1969. It blew me away, because I'd never heard of the Pilots, and I was a kid who read anything having to do with baseball.

Years later, I read Bouton's book, and that stoked my interest more. What a sad story, I thought. Sad and beautiful. And it's the reason I own a Pilots jersey (well, okay, technically a Mariners throwback jersey, from a night a few seasons ago when they paid tribute to the Pilots, because, after all, a real Mitchell & Ness throwback would set me back like $400, right?), and why my (mysteriously underachieving) fantasy team is Dooley Womack's Seattle Pilots.

That's why it was great to come across this post and this post on a great blog called The Fleer Sticker Project (via Uniwatch). A great capsule explanation of the Pilots' rise and demise (damn you, Selig!) as well as some great imagery.

Interesting side note: While the Pilots' home, Sicks Stadium, is now an Ace Hardware parking lot, some of the seats from that yard apparently ended up in Vancouver's Nat Bailey Stadium.

This Seems an Appropriate Time to Reference That Tom Petty Song

2008-04-25T02:09:00.000-07:00

This team is in free fall, and no pressure, Scott Rolen, but tonight, at pastoral Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City, we're gonna need you to go ahead and be the parachute.

I'm not wrong in thinking that whole series was a pretty minor league effort by Toronto, am I? Jamie Campbell's enthusiastic labeling of the Rays as "Relentless!" notwithstanding, the Jays should have brought across a few more runs, right? Unless the Rays hitters truly are relentless, and Shields, Sonnanstine and company are that good a staff (to come clean, I did once see Andy Sonnanstine strike out 10 Concorde Quarry Dogs while playing for the Sanford Mainers of the NECBL). I mean, if we're looking at the eventual 2008 World Series Champions in the unlikely form of the Tampa Bay Rays, I guess there's no shame in being swept by them, right? At a minor league/spring training park? At Disneyworld? In April? I mean, those three games can't actually count, can they?

So Long, Frank

2008-04-21T05:50:00.001-07:00

Well, damn.

I just about did a spit-take upon hearing the news yesterday ("just about" but for the lack of beverage, see). But after parsing it out, I suppose it makes sense. This, we are to believe, is that much-heralded "sense of urgency" claiming its first victim.

But in order for good things to happen for both parties - the Jays not being on the hook for $10M next year, and Frank to still see some playing time - this was the only solution. The Jays eat the '08 portion of the contract, and Frank is free to pursue other options...

Like maybe Seattle? USS Mariner weighs in there, and Mariners GM Jim Bavasi doesn't rule it out. I think there might be some teams out there who will forgive Thomas' slow start, and see the possibility of Bonds-like numbers at DH, without the Bonds-like baggage. (Speaking of, the Jays will not - NOT - sign Bonds, or I'll eat my shoe [figuratively speaking].)

So, Adam Lind - are you just about ready for your close-up?

Blue Jays Miscellany

2008-04-17T17:19:00.001-07:00

With the Top Down, the Rogers Centre is a Pretty Sweet Ride

I love that the Jays never suffer the inconvenience of a rain out (or snow out) at home. I don't live in Toronto, so on the rare occasion that I do make it to a game, I like knowing that no matter the conditions outside, they're playin' some ball. But a game played beneath the roof is preferable only to no game being played; we'd all rather sit beneath the sky, or watch a game played outdoors instead of in. So, while the season is a couple of weeks old, watching tonight's game - with the lid finally open - makes it feel, for the first time, that summer is actually on its way. A beautiful thing.

I Stayed Up For That?

Is a 14-inning game worth staying up for if it ends like that? Also, can we think of a better way to say "the ball slipped through Zaun's legs" than "between the wickets"? Like, maybe just, "the ball slipped through Zaun's legs"? Sometimes plainspeak is betterspeak. On the plus side, AJ's impromtu appearance means that we all get to see David Purcey (in powder blues, no less!). So that's something.

What Happened to Frank Thomas?

Nothing to add to that. No sooner did I gush over his monstrous bat then he flatlines (or reverts to his typical April performance levels, I guess).

Reed It and Weep

Reed Johnson went 4 for 4 today doing spot duty for the Cubs, who are playing musical outfielders with Alfonso Soriano out. It didn't help, of course; Ted Lilly (what the hell happened to Ted Lilly?) served BP lobs to the Reds for much of the afternoon, specifically Canuck Joey Votto. Alarming figure: Lilly's groundout to flyball ratio was 2:10. In Wrigley Field. I wondered, when Lilly signed with Chicago, if Wrigley was the right fit for him. When he's off - like in 2oo8 - he can get shelled, and the balls positively rain down on Waveland and Sheffield avenues.

Also, Junior "What if he'd stayed healthy?" Griffey hit his 596th off Jon Lieber; this stat blows me away: Lieber is the 380th guy to give up a homer to Griffey. Three hundred and eighty different pitchers. Is is me, or is that crazy? Can you name 380 pitchers? Am I wrong to be blown away by this?

Oh, and in the interest of full disclosure, Votto's Cub-bashing didn't completely ruin my day; he's the backup 1B on my fantasy team, and he brought me 5 RBI. Such are the torn loyalties engendered by fantasy baseball.

Hourly Rates Available

After last night's marathon, it's a damn fine thing to have Halladay on the mound, whose workmanlike efficiency (even on a night when he's given up a few hits and - thus far - 3 runs) means a trim, sub-3 hour game (is there a Law & Order on later?).

Happy Birthday To You

Finally, congrats to The Tao on its first birthday. It couldn't happen to a nicer blog, and I'm not just saying that because this blog was once namechecked there (back when I somehow, miraculously, found time to post more than twice a week). Honestly, that header tagline - "One Day, We'll Be Perfect" - is so perfect, it nearly makes me cry. And the content is excellent too, obvs. Keep up the good work.

I Am the Resurrection

2008-04-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah.

BJ's back.

(But is he back? We'll see.)

You Must Be This Tall to Ride the Rollercoaster

2008-04-12T20:44:00.000-07:00

Hold on real tight, because baseball season has begun. That means that teams and their fans who are high and giddy after winning streaks are bound to be humbled by a few losses. It’s no reason for panic; it’s baseball.

One of the beauteous truths of this game we love is that the ratio of success to failure is lower than that of virtually any other sport; the well worn bromide is that the very best hitters are unsuccessful six or six and a half times out of ten. Batting average being held in the low esteem that it now is, it might be better to point out that even the most successful teams lose 35-40% of their games. That’s just the way it is. Teams like Baltimore will fall back to earth, and teams like Detroit will start to win. And teams like Toronto? They’ll have their streaks, too, but dropping one series in April – even to a “rebuilding” Oakland club and a couple of pitchers we’ve never heard of – is not cause for undue alarm (which isn’t to say minor adjustments shouldn’t be made).

All three of those Oakland games could’ve gone either way – a couple of one-run games and a third late-inning misfire are all that separates the team from a hot streak and an apparently panic-inducing losing streak. The starting pitching, generally speaking, remains rock solid (other than AJ being AJ). Accardo and League looked off, that’s true.

The offense couldn’t squeeze out what they needed when they needed it, but then they went out the next night and rapped out 13 hits and scored 8 runs. Another 4 runs tonight – not a lot, but enough with Halladay on the mound.

So this is how it will go, by and large. A few wins, then a couple of losses. The braintrust will shuttle the bit players back and forth to Syracuse (Coats goes down, Inglet comes up and goes 3 for 4; Randy Wells rides a bus while Carlson comes up and looks good). Gibbons will toy with the lineup (like moving AARON HILL INTO THE 2-HOLE behind Eckstein, where he goes 2 for 4 with 3 RBI). The hope is that they’ve put together a good enough team - a team that stays fairly healthy - to only lose 60 or so times, give or take, and that the Jays will end up on the right side of those 1 or 2 or 3 games that separate the AL wildcard winner from the other teams that come pretty close but fall just short. That’s what it will come down to.

It’s April, and April’s a funny month in baseball. You spend all spring gearing up for the real games, and when they do come sometimes it takes a while for things to fall into place. Right now the Baltimore Orioles are leading the toughest division in baseball. Right now a catcher is the hottest hitter in the NL. April’s like that. It doesn’t mean much; the sample size is too small to really say anything at this point. But I think we all know the Jays have got a hell of a pitching staff, and the potential to field a very powerful offense. So far? The signs are encouraging, I’d say. Wells looks healthy. Hill continues to develop. Rios gets on base. And so on. But how will it shake down? As much as we like to extrapolate and prognosticate, we’ll have to watch the remaining 151 games to find out.

Go Jays.

Blue Jays Miscellany

2008-04-08T19:55:00.000-07:00

Frank Thomas Gives Me That Feeling

There are times in baseball when a certain player gives you a certain feeling – that sense that, for whatever reason - be it an elusive celestial alignment or generous tribute paid to the proper pagan god – that player is in a rarified place that allows him to change a game’s complexion at any given moment. Right now, Frank Thomas is giving off those vibes.

Hurt’s season started a bit slow, but something clicked over the weekend (he credits a new batting helmet, apparently) and now he’s mashing. He’s got that killer eye, and every at-bat inspires hope in Jays fans and fear in pitchers. It hit its zenith on Sunday when Thomas was waiting on a Manny Delcarmen fastball, and grand slammed it.

It happened again tonight (though it went for naught). In the eighth, Hurt watched three Alan Embree duds float by before bothering to swing the bat. He had that cockysmock look in his eyes, though his face was blank. He pushed the fourth pitch over the wall to tie the game.

He can’t single-handedly win every game, but he’s a nice tool to wield right now, no?

Rolen Pulls the Pin

They yanked the surgically implanted rod from Scott Rolen’s busted digit today, clearing him to do baseball stuff with both hands. The team says he might be ready to go in a week. Saying that this is good news is in no way meant to slight Marco Scutaro’s contribution in Rolen’s absence. Scutaro’s a nice tool to have coming off the bench, no?

Hill in the 2-Hole

Though I have publicly stated that I believe Aaron Hill belongs higher in the order, specifically in the number two slot, I haven’t yet mentioned here that Hill did hit second on Sunday. The reason? I’m pretty sure that’s an aberration, just the result of Eckstein getting an off day and Gibbons’ desire to have his replacement (Johnny Mac) hit lower. If I thought it was something that was likely to be repeated more than a couple of times a month, I’d have freaked out over it. As it is, whatev. But seriously, Gibby, what an amazing tool Hill would be batting second!

Oh Snap!

Reed Johnson playing the role of jilted ex-lover? Subtext doesn’t get more shallow than Reed’s comments about the fans at Wrigley. What he said: “The fans [in Chicago] definitely know the game.” What he meant: “The hockey-addled canuckleheads in Toronto don’t have a clue what a real contribution is.” What a tool, no?

The Ballad of Billy Buckner

I have to believe that even the most hardened of Red Sox-hating Jays fans were moved by Bill Buckner’s return to Fenway today. The man choked back tears as he spoke of having to learn to forgive the Boston media for vilifying him over The Grounder. That kind of drama and pathos supersedes team allegiances, doesn’t it?

Lastly

Seriously, what the hell’s wrong with Detroit?

The World's Gone Topsy-Turvy

2008-04-08T05:54:00.001-07:00

5-1
First in AL East

0-6
Last in AL Central

23-9

2008-04-07T04:09:00.001-07:00

The offense is working. The pitching is working. The Toronto side outscored the Boston Americans 23-9 this weekend. Maybe the New Englanders are still jetlagged from their Japanese excursion, but really, who cares?

Dig Those Pajamas

2008-04-04T19:16:00.001-07:00

Much to report, as real life, so-called, pulled me away from last night's game and prevented commentary. I know only about that game as much as the pithy highlights on Canada's two major sports networks would allow. Apparently, there were ice hockey matches with serious consequences related to the major hockey league's upcoming championship tournament; that meant little time for baseball news.

As for today, well, this has been a uniquely satisfying day to be a Blue Jays fan.

Rios locked up longterm. We knew that. But the rare second prize in our Crackerjack was learning that Aaron Hill has signed on for the long haul, too. And both sides were being so cagey, all like, "We're not talking about it anymore until the season is over." Devious cats.

And then there was the home opener. I note the unusual quiet on the other Jays blogs tonight; I assume this is because every Jays blogger but me was at SkyDome (shut up - tonight it was the SkyDome again). Well, the televised images made it look like a hell of a party.

The Roberto Alomar/Paul Beeston ceremony was a righteous thing. All spitting incidents forgotten, Robbie. About time he was elevated to the "Level of Excellence." It was actually a nice moment, later on, when he joined Campbell and Tabler in the broadcast booth, and Tabby had a chance to lavish praise on Alomar. He seemed genuinely moved.

Then the powder blues came out, and you know, I was prepared to write them off. I thought that with the way modern players wear their unis (baggy and low, bunching up over their hightops), they'd look silly. And I was right in the sense that nobody had the stones to wear the new suit a little bit tight, like they used to. After all, this whole thing is just a way to move some merchandise, right? But you know what? They looked pretty damn good. And if you squinted - what with the stands full of seemingly interested fans - you might have actually convinced yourself that it was, like, 1989, or something, and people showed up not just because they loved their Jays, but because the retractable roof was the single most advanced scientific development the world had ever produced. And yes, shut up, I know they stopped wearing the powder blues in '88, but for the stadium timeline thing to work there, I had to fudge it a bit. Besides, memory is a hazy and sentimental thing.

It was a lovefest through and through. It was PR and spin and hokum, but it was nice to succumb to it, truth be told. It was a treat to suspend disbelief and allow the Blue Jays' marketing department to mash all the good feelings we've ever had about Our Team into one gooey powder blue ball of goodwill, and to smear that all over this year's model so as to convince us that these new guys exist on the same continuum as all your heroes. They don't, of course, but who cares? Being a fan means accepting a certain degree of manipulation. And tonight, it felt good to be manipulated, goddamnit.

And the team held up their end. Marcum was gold until, well, you know. The Canadian guy broke the scoreless tie. Hurt finally got a meaningful hit.

I'd like to break it all down a bit more incisively, but I'm a bit buzzed by all that Blue Jay love, frankly. Maybe later I'll regain my critical faculties. Maybe not. Right now it just feels amazing to be a Jays fan.

I Love It When a Plan Comes Together

2008-04-03T08:56:00.000-07:00

Things unfolded more or less as designed last night, with AJ coming strong - even if he didn't have all his stuff, as The Mockingbird suggests, he was hitting his spots. There was that scare when he landed awkwardly on Jeter's groundball, but thankfully all his moving parts seem to have remained in good working order (and the errant throw allowed for yet another instance of Rios awesomeness - can we please just have that extension announcement already?).

As predicted, Vernon Wells went 3-4 (so we were off by 1 RBI).

So what if Eckstein did nothing but ground into DPs? And Aaron Hill's still not hitting high in the order, where he will surely mash all that comes his way and develop into the perennial all-star he is destined to become. But I'm nitpicking; the Jays played well, on the whole, and handed the goddamn Yankees their asses. A win's a win, but it always seems so much more satisfying when it's New York doing the losing (especially when a reliever like Brian Tallet steps in and Ks Alex Rodriguez to stifle a rally - note to self: check to see if Tallet is still available in your fantasy league).

Tonight: One more from THE STADIUM (didja hear this is its last season?), McGowan against Hughes. Our young guy will totally kick their young guy's ass. And - thrill of thrills - the chance to hear Rod Black wax poetic about the city and the team and the general aura of magnificence that permeates all matter when the pinstripes are on hand.

A Random Thought

2008-04-02T20:23:00.000-07:00

Watching the Astros-Padres now, and thinking: PETCO Park is less a ballpark and more an elaborate gimmick, no?

Does anybody really believe that the "Western Metal Supply Co." is still in business, and operates out of a quaint brick building conveniently located in left field?

And how long before they sell that ad space to a real company?

That's all.

Clog Those Bases

2008-04-02T06:36:00.000-07:00

Ever the optimist (?), I choose to highlight the positive from last night's 3-2 loss to Wang and the Yanks.

Doc Being Doc - angry and intense man that he is, he pitched a solid game. He just had the misfortune of doing on a night when Wang was also damn good. My dad's kind of intense like Doc, but he can't pitch, so it's just weird. He mutters a lot.

Scooter Scooting - I think the Drunkards are right, Scutaro's stolen bases were just him holding up his end of the hit-n-run bargain, but I like his fire. A Venezuelan's word is bond.

Running Up That Hill - Our second sacker is making good contact and would-shoulda-coulda had a couple of more extra bases, but for Melky Cabrera's meddlesome interference. One question: why in the hell is he hitting seventh? Is JP exerting influence and trying to keep Hill's value down for next winter's extension talks? Wha-? Move him up to no. 2.

Alright, the negative: stranding runners; not recognizing the 4' x 8' Yankee Stadium special strike zone. Will those fuckers get those sorts of sentiment-driven calls all year? Jesus, hand them the trophy now.

For your listening pleasure: The Southpaw has a solid suggestion, if you just can't abide Rod Black's pandering, Pat Tabler's filler, or Jamie Campbell's inanity. Everybody knows that MLB Audio never syncs with the TV images, so that's a non-starter (though I do love me some Jerry Howarth). So turn down the TV and turn up the stereo! You're smarter than those hacks, anyway, so do your own play by play while enjoying the noise of your choosing.

Tonight: AJ vs. Mussina. We find out if AJ's fingernail has healed, and if he's got all his stuff this season. Mussina kind of owns Toronto, but if AJ can keep them close, the new run-n-gun offense (football?) can make a game of it. Maybe? I mean, if that homer strike zone contracts even just a bit.

This guy predicts: Vernon wakes up, goes 3-4 with 3 RBI. Eckstein makes another mistake or two, but covers it up with grit and character. Scooter steals another base. Hill hits a double. Jays win 5-3.

In Wrigleyville, ex-Jay Ted Lilly throws for the Cubs today against Jeff Suppan and the Brewers. Fukudome! looks to extend his legend. My advice would be to call it a season and head back to Japan as the most popular man in the history of Chicago. Only heartache can result in a full season there. History proves it.

On the West Coast: Putz blows a good outing by King Felix, and Mariners fans are forced to drown their sorrows in a grande dark roast. I'm intrigued by tonight's start by new Mariner Carlos Silva. They paid a helluva lot for a no. 3 starter. Worth it? He's an innings pig; maybe he can go the full game and give Putz a night off to nurse his broken heart.

Scooter-Oh!

2008-04-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

Well, thank god we're actually playing ball tonight. If the rain erased another Jays opener, I'd have been forced to discuss something bogus and dull, like another slight and inconsequential brush with a former Blue Jay, in this case the time my dad sat next to an unemployed Kelly Gruber on a flight somewhere. As it is, we're playing ball, and I can save that nugget for another day. Good thing, too, because once that load was blown, I woulda had to resort to truly abysmal material, like my quest to drink 3 liters of milk today before it goes bad (chocolate syrup helps). For realious.

But! The rain has magically and mysteriously been held at bay, and the Jays and Yanks are tangling on TSN. And oh my! Marco Scutaro! Stealing bases! Fun fact: with 2 swipes, he already leads the 2007 Jays.

I've liked Scutaro the feisty Venezuelan (is there any other kind?) since I snagged a foul ball of his in Ottawa during his (lengthy) AAA days. He was with either Indianapolis (Brewers) or Norfolk (Mets) at the time. He was waaaay out in front of a breaking ball and he fired it down toward the third base dugout. It took one big hop and headed straight for me, sitting in the first row behind said dugout. I deflected it with my one free hand - the other cupping a beer - and it flared harmlessly straight over my head. When it came down again, it landed softly in that same hand, and nary a drop of beer was spilt. The ovation I got from the crowd was nice, but even better was the lingering look I got from Marco, a look of respect. It was brief, in the larger scale of things, but it was there. There was a recognition, an unmistakable vibe, a flash of respect from one man of the world to another. His look said, "Nice snag, mang." I returned him a nod that said: "I feel you, Marco."

As for this game, things have looked pretty good until - as I write this - the Yanks have loaded the bases in the 7th. A solid play by Hill to save a blown play... fuck, I love baseball! And then Doc Ks Melky Cabrera, forcing him to atone for his earlier sins against Jaysdom (Joe G: put Damon back in CF!).

Life is good again. After this one ends, King Felix - another feisty Venezuelan - takes the hill in Seattle. Sleep be damned.

Alright look, I don't pretend to be as entertaining a liveblogger as the Drunkards. I'm drinking chocolate milk tonight, not libations. Head on over there for sloppy hilarity.

Delayed Gratification

2008-03-31T18:43:00.001-07:00

File under: Anticlimactic.

We'll try to get excited all over again tomorrow night, but we hear the weather report's no better for then. This might take a while; not sure how much more disappointment we can stand.

There's Got to Be a Better Way: Sunny stadiums stand empty, domed stadiums (like ours!) have to wait to open. Meanwhile, predictably cold and wet locales suffer rain delays. Take note, schedule makers!

On the Bright Side: Fukudome! He went 3-3 with 3 RBI, nearly won it for the Cubs, and he's a member of our very own fantasy squad. Hell yes.

At Last

2008-03-30T19:42:00.000-07:00

Miss Me?

I’ve kept silent for many weeks now, reasoning that I didn’t have much to offer in the way of analysis, conjecture or, let’s face it, entertainment. I was just out of gas. Besides, all those other, better Jays blogs had all the news worth knowing. They’ve been on hand to tell you all about Casey Janssen’s aborted season and the resulting reinstatement of Litsch to the rotation, the departures of Reed and Sal, Rolen’s gnarled digit, Matty’s bum hip, The Mighty Rios’s possible extension, and anything else regarding your Toronto Blue Jays that was worth knowing.

But now, baseball’s really, truly back. Not Opening-in-Japan back, and not Flown-Up-North-For-a-Couple-of-Exhibition-Games back, but honest-to-god back, and with it comes the not so incisive and only marginally interesting commentary of yours truly.

The Long March is Over

Tonight’s appetite whetter between the Braves and Nats is a sweet lotion balm to our chafed souls, a lovely teaser to tomorrow’s full slate – including, most importantly, the matinee Jays-Yanks tilt.

But a few thoughts about this Sunday nighter, the (inter)nationally televised debut of Nationals Park…

The yard looks nice enough, certainly inoffensive if not terribly distinctive. But as a baseball-only facility, it marks the long-sought conclusion to the Montreal Expos’ wanderings in the desert. Washington’s backroomers pulled off what a Bronfman and Jeffrey Loria (Curse His Name) could not, and the team finally has a house of its own. I’m not bitter toward the people of Washington; the US capital deserves a team. But I’m left to wonder what might have been had a downtown Montreal ballpark ever materialized.

Speaking of debuts, the Braves have rolled out new road duds for this one, an all-blue jersey (meh) and an understated, all-blue cap (i.e. no red brim). I like the hat. It’s simple, and in baseball, simple is good (hear that, Uncle Ted?).

Also, is it true that in Washington, Democrats wear the blue Nats road caps, and Republicans wear the red home version? Anybody know?

Jays vs. Yankees

Like George Will says, every team goes into the season knowing they’ll win 60 games and lose 60 games, and they play the whole season to decide those remaining 42 contests. I know tomorrow’s Jays opener is but one game, one measly April game, but I’d like nothing better than to see Toronto come out strong and feed the Yankees their lunch. Fuck the Yankees, and to hell with reverence for Yankee Stadium. I’ll be watching (hopefully), as well as keeping an eye on the Drunkards’ blow-by-blow, and what I’ll be watching for is early offense and smothering defense, as well as the Doc’s usual brand of excellence. Wake the Yankees up and let them know they’ll have to scrap for a spot atop the division (or, more realistically, the wild card).

The Season: ’08 Jays – An Inside Look at Your Blue Jays

When the commercials promised unprecedented access to the team, I figured there’d be cameras present for team meetings, or more in-depth interviews, maybe some shocking confessions, some tears, or some salty comments caught on mic. But I guess what they meant was footage of Vernon Wells’s arthroscopic procedure.

Regardless, good watching. Should make for must-see TV every Sunday evening, before Jon and Joe.

Odds & Sods

2008-03-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

Is Buck Coats our saviour?
No.

Is "Neal W. from Toronto" insane for even suggesting that Stewart could play right field?
I have to believe that, yes, Neal W. from Toronto is insane. Neal W., if you're reading this, I'm sorry, but you're batshit crazy. Seek help, and refrain from procreating.

Is Gibbons on a short leash?
Probably, but as The Southpaw neatly details, the Jays figure to come out of the gate strong, with all due respect to The Tao.

Does CityTV suck?
Most definitely. Pray Jesus they never broadcast another baseball game. Stick to late night softcore, spawn of Moses.

Is baseball on the radio (or computer) in early March good for the soul?
I'm thinkin' it is. Holy damn, what a long winter.

Is this the laziest form of blog post known to humankind?
Pretty much, yuh. It's also a roundabout way of saying that new material on The Bottom of the Order might be scant and pithy for a few weeks. Which is fine, what with all those other fine Jays blogs out there to pick up the slack.

More Ichiro Madness

2008-03-03T06:19:00.000-08:00

This Ichiro kid's pretty good.

(More real content, likely Jays related, later today. Promise.)

Ichiro!

2008-03-01T19:46:00.001-08:00

Finally

2008-02-29T10:51:00.001-08:00

I know they played yesterday, but that game seemed little more than rumour to me, what with the lack of radio signals emanating from Joker Marchant Stadium in Lakeland, FLA. But today, things really feel as though they're getting underway. I logged onto MLB Audio (Thanks, PT! Your account still works!) and holy mother good goddamn does Jerry Howarth's voice sound good to these ears; Alan Ashby, too, for that matter (though he did go on an extended spiel about Eckstein's scrappiness, which I fear won't be the last we hear of that particular trope from his lips), as well as Wilner offering his well-chosen and statistically sound insertions. In short, there's baseball on the radio (er, computer), and it's about goddamn time. This has been a long winter; my heart belongs to baseball, though in years past I have used hockey as something of a crutch to limp through the cold months, a methadone balm to my raging addiction. But this year I couldn't be arsed, mostly because I find Senators fans increasingly irksome (it's not the band I hate, it's the fans...), and that, coupled with the crazy wintriness of this winter (whither global warming?) has me just about doggone nuts. So this is a good day.

It is Spring Training, of course, and the radio guys have some kinks to work out, too (Ashby sounds like he's half a room away from his mic half the time), but even if they were recreating the action from telegraph reports, using corny sound effects and fake crowd noise, it'd still be music to my ears.

Stairsy! Hurt! Overbay! Ah, such sweet music! Mine heart thrums.

Why Bother?

2008-02-26T19:50:00.000-08:00

For what it's worth, CBS Sportsline has their obligatory Jays season preview blurb up, as well as a companion 5 Things to Know About... thingy. Is it me, or are these always written with an annoyingly condescending subtext, like "Did you know they have a baseball team in Toronto? Toronto, Canada?!" The not so subtle tone has Senior Writer Scott Miller marvelling that these scrappy l'il worldbeaters actually think they can take on the Big Fellas. Isn't that cute?

Anyway, though the whole thing is generally disagreeable, there's one tasty bit I take exception with:

Though Toronto has some promising young players like McGowan, Marcum and second baseman Aaron Hill, Boston (Dustin Pedroia, Jacoby Ellsbury, Clay Buchholz) and the Yankees (Joba Chamberlain, Phil Hughes, Ian Kennedy) have better young players.

Oh, really?

Everything You'd Ever Dreamed Of (& More!)

2008-02-26T19:05:00.000-08:00

The Globe's Robert MacLeod reports that Spring Training is everything you'd ever dreamed it would be, and then some.

Not only is it a warm, sunny place devoted almost exclusively to baseball, where men live out their boyhood fantasies, ticket prices remain low, the grass is impossibly green and soft, and all-you-can-eat buffets dot every street corner, but it would seem
that every once in a while major sporting goods companies dispatch armies of magical and benevolent little elves bearing sacks of equipment to give away to players. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he's got a bag fulla Wilsons.

So that settles it. When I die (which could be any day now, if this snow doesn't let up), please ship my soul to a perpetual Florida afternoon, late February or early March, and let me play soft toss with the boys, with the glove of my choice, for all eternity.

Party in Left Field

2008-02-25T20:25:00.001-08:00

Things're gettin pretty crazy now. No sooner did I profess admiration for Reed Johnson, and express disbelief at the notion of JP signing Shannon Stewart, then whaddya know? Stewart's in camp and Reed's fighting for his half of the platoon. Lind still waits in the wings, and then there's that remote Jason Bay possibility...

As insurance, I like Stewart, and maybe for that added bit of pressure on Reed. See? That's him, glancing over his shoulder. I think that once it all shakes down, Stewart ends up in Syracuse to start the year and Johnson gets his chance to recreate 2006. But if he doesn't get off to a quick start, he's cut loose, Shannon's a Blue Jay again, and left field is something of a defensive weak spot for Toronto.

Or maybe somebody's on the move. Apparently the Jays don't like their chances of moving Reed, so maybe Lind's bait, Stewart gets a roster spot as backup OF and sometimes DH when Frank Thomas wants to sit, and they let Johnson walk after this year to make room for Travis Snider in '09?

- - -

Almost lost amid all the talk about the left field mess - and Rolen's health, and Eckstein's scrappiness, and so forth - was the fact that the Jays actually played a little baseball today. Hear that? They dressed up in smart-looking uniforms and played rounders! Today. The Blue Jays. Is that not news worthy of celebratory acts? Like another of these rum & cokes? (rums & coke?)

The best part? Sal Fasano launched one. I'd like to think he dedicated that one to JP, with a kiss.

Reed Off Leadoff

2008-02-22T20:22:00.000-08:00

Reed Johnson knows that Reed Johnson won't be the Jays' leadoff man this year, barring something unforeseen, like Eckstein slipping between the cracks of a sewer grate. But Reed Johnson is okay with that, because Reed Johnson is a team player. "I'm not frustrated," Reed Johnson says. "We're trying to make our team better. Any time J.P. has an opportunity to make an upgrade at a spot, he's going to do that. He's basically made an upgrade at the leadoff spot, and that's the decision that they've gone with. I'm going to do my best to fill in wherever they want me."

Translation: Reed Johnson is not a selfish man.

Whether he's being sincere or just swallowing his pride and saying what's expected of him even though he wants that leadoff spot and starting LF job more than life itself, it's gratifying to know that there probably won't be any strife originating from that platoon situation, and that wherever Reed Johnson is put in the order, he'll do what he can to contribute.

I like Reed because, barring the unfortunate chin adornment, Reed's pretty nice to look at on the field, from a uniform perspective anyway. The high socks, the baggy pants, the frequently grass-stained uni. Very nice. The uniwatchers approve. Also, whereas I already dug me some Reed, he endeared himself even more to the Bottom of the Order braintrust last year when, in his first game back from injury, he made a flat-out, game saving catch in the ninth to secure Doc's victory in the only Jays game I was able to attend last year (it was also my infant daughter's first full major league game). It looked pretty damn good from up in the 500s.

But here are the guys over at The Southpaw suggesting that the Jays forsake Reed and the Canadian guy in favour of another Canadian guy (admittedly a guy with a career 130 OPS+, who comes relatively cheap to boot). Their caveat is if the Jays find themselves in contention come the deadline, then they should consider acquiring Bay, bearing in mind Godfrey's past comments about the bankability of a Canadian-born star. Here's my question: without a hefty contribution from that LF platoon - Stairs and Johnson, with a side of Lind and possibly some Scutaro - can the Jays find themselves in contention? And if those guys are contributing, will Bay prove to be worth what the Pirates will be asking in return?

Well, probably, yes. Like I said, I like Reed. But Jason Bay is a better player, without question. But Reed being Reed, he'd probably be alright with Bay's addition, and the decreased playing time that would come with it (assuming he's not a part of any package designed to land the Pirate). After all, Reed Johnson is "going to do my best to fill in wherever they want me."

Atta' boy, Reed Johnson.

Voice of a Nation

2008-02-20T20:15:00.000-08:00

An outpouring of emotion from the Jays blogging community concerning Tom Cheek’s having been passed over for the Ford C. Frick Award in favour of Seattle’s Dave Niehaus. I can’t say that Niehaus isn’t deserving; I suspect he means as much to Mariners fans as Cheek did (and still does) to Jays fans. All I know for certain is the wave of nostalgia I’ve experienced while reading all those heartfelt reminiscences of Cheek’s work.

What comes most immediately to mind is those years when the Blue Jays were Canada’s team in a way that they haven’t been since, and likely never will be again. Beginning in about 1989, with the opening of SkyDome, the team was big news. And when they charged into the World Series in 1992, they were the topic on everyone’s lips. The pastor at my family’s church spoke about them on a weekly basis; family friends who had never shown an interest suddenly engaged me in conversation about the Jays; blue caps sprouted in the schoolyard like mushrooms. I was too young and unsophisticated a fan to resent all those late on the bandwagon; I was just happy for the collective rejoicing I felt taking place around me. Newscasts led with the team’s progress through the playoffs, the players’ names became as familiar as family. And Cheek brought it all to us.

It was still a radio age, in a sense. AM stations from coast to coast picked up Jays broadcasts, and Ottawa was no different. I had a crappy old clock radio next to my bed, and most nights during the summer I’d go to bed listening to a game. Often as not I’d wake up in the middle of the night, the game long over, and the station softly playing tinny oldies. In a way, I like to think that Cheek’s calls made their way into my dreams. It was certainly his voice I heard when I’d put on my cap and glove and practice diving catches by jumping onto my bed.

But back to that period – I’d put it between ’89 and the strike in ’94 – when the Blue Jays were the thing a whole country could get behind. I watched World Series games with friends who never gave a damn about baseball, and I saw the genuine excitement on their faces. I remember walking the streets of my suburban childhood neighbourhood after game 6 in Atlanta, a couple of friends and I, imploring motorists to honk their horns, and finding them surprisingly willing. I remember “Touch ‘em all, Joe!” (though I must have heard that call after the fact, since I – like everyone else north of 49 – was watching that game 6 on TV). The Blue Jays were everywhere then, a soft spot in a nation’s collective heart, an entity warmly regarded and largely beyond reproach. The sport grew – minor league teams north of the border flourished, participation in the sport rose. There was a marked lack of cynicism about sports in general then (at least compared to now), and the Jays reflected a rampant optimism at large in the world. They were world-beaters, a scrappy unit with a purpose and a voice – Cheek’s – and they were impossible not to love.

But that was then. Athletes aren’t heroes anymore, not the way they used to be. They breed suspicion and doubt, not hope and inspiration. Teams are cash cows, owners are corrupt, and we seem to have accepted the role of sport as entertainment, not as grand expression of civic or national aspiration. Canadians are more and more ambivalent toward baseball now, maybe because of labour strife, maybe because of steroids, maybe because we’ve been told ad infinitum that hockey is our game, maybe for some other reason. The Expos are long gone, the last AAA team just left town, and Jays tickets are easy to get. As a baseball fan, it’s all a little hard to take, but just the sound of Tom Cheek’s voice brings me right back to that other time, when it mattered here. It won’t be that way again here, no matter how successful the Blue Jays are; that uniformity of opinion is a thing of that past, of a time embodied for me by the voice of Tom Cheek.

I think Tom Cheek belongs in the Hall of Fame for all the right reasons – longevity, the quality of his work, his connection to the fans – but in the end it won’t matter if he’s enshrined or not, because he’s permanently etched into my mind and the minds of millions of Canadians, and he always will be. Baseball, maybe more than any other game, is a game of memory. Cheek's voice charges right to all those incredible memories, it disarms me and makes me a kid again. That’s a gift that doesn’t require institutional recognition, just a hell of a lot of gratitude.

Dunedin High

2008-02-19T19:33:00.000-08:00

Scotty Rolen showed up for his first day of school today. He managed to avoid the dreaded first day schoolyard beatdown, but according to Bastien, Rolen already had a playmate in Vernon Wells, who texted Rolen before the third baseman even had a team physical...

V-Dub: Congrats, Rolz. U made a gr8 decision waiving ur no trade. Iz gonna b a fun year.

Rolen33: Word up.

V-Dub: Dont believe wht u hear about r turf. Iz nice n soft.

Rolen33: Glad 2 hear it, lol. Whats Gibbons like?

V-Dub: He's soft 2, ha ha. Dont worry, you could beat his a$$.

Later, Rolen axed if Alex Rios had a gf.

Much noise is being made about the Jays apparent willingness to sign ex-Jay Shannon Stewart as a fourth (fifth?) outfielder. Despite the results of the Southpaw's detailed breakdown of Stewart vs. the Johnson/Stairs LF platoon, my gut (my instant rebuttal to any statistical breakdown that doesn't back up what seems obvious to me) says his good '07 in Oakland was a late career blip, and that we're better off banking on Reed Johnson's back and Matt Stairs' own late career blip. Luckily for me and the other doubters, Jeff Blair is reporting that the deal is pretty much dead in the water. Yesterday's news. Kaput. A non-issue.

Lazy, Lazy, Lazy Blog Post About Spring Training

2008-02-17T18:56:00.000-08:00

Man, what I wouldn't give to be in Dunedin.

How great would it be to watch these boys lope around those practice fields? To see Rios Grande rip a couple of Denbo's BP pitches over the wall, or to sit in rapt silence and absorb the wisdom of Our Pal Sal...

Mostly, though, wouldn't it be super amazing to be a Jays beat writer, and to hustle your ass, work your contacts, and do that extra bit of homework in order to scoop your fellow scribes with dirt like Alex Rios has a wacky haircut! Or: Baseball players drive expensive cars!

On the real, though, I've been to Spring Training a couple of times - not to the Jays camp, but to those of the Phillies, Reds and Twins - and what nails you right between the eyes when you go to these places is the breeziness of it all. Sure, there are guys fighting for jobs, and others facing an uphill climb back from injury. There are serious matters to be settled, and real work to be done, but underlying it all is the wink and nudge of Can you believe this is our job? Men who've been playing this game since they were boys are given the opportunity to earn ungodly sums of money to continue playing it at the highest level, and every year it begins here, beneath that perfect sun, in late winter. They convene, straggling into camp from scattered points, and then they go about the business of preparing themselves for the long season ahead.

Nice work, if you can get it.

The hope, of course, is that the drills you run here, the extra BP or the longer bullpen sessions, all contribute to keep you playing longer into the fall. And call me a homer, but something feels different this year; the news coming out of Dunedin has a different edge to it. It feels for all the world as though the Jays have a better chance of playing in October than they have for years. It will require a lot of things falling into place, of course, but there's a wild card for the taking, and I think this squad's got an outside chance to nab it.

TBotO's prediction: 92 wins. The question is, will that be enough?

Ggood Enough For Me

2008-02-15T18:14:00.000-08:00

Gregg Zaun has finally come out and addressed the allegations in the Mitchell Report that had his name on a check used to pay for magic muscle pills. Zauner's story is backed up by a nameless phantasm, sez the National Post, and so in the interest of I don't care anymore if in fact I ever did so can we just get on with it and play baseball, I'm fully willingg to believe him. Way to go, Gregg! Sorry we ever doubted you! I liken the whole thing to the time the dogg actually did eat my homework. True story.

Maybe of greater interest, though, is Parkes of Drunk Jays Fans fame uncoveringg this typographical oddity: Zaun's full name is Gregory, and yet he goes by Gregg - double 'g'. What? Huh?

That one might not have an explanation, but again, I'm willingg to give Zaun the benefit of the doubt. In fact, I like it. A lot.

Nameless No More

2008-02-14T11:57:00.000-08:00

Ottawa's Can-Am League team announced its name today, and unveiled the above logo. Not bad. As far as the name goes, I'm in favour of it largely due to the fact that I entered it in the name-the-team contest. I got an email today:

I am pleased to inform you that we have selected the name of the newest member of the Can-Am League – THE OTTAWA RAPIDS!

You and numerous other successful entrants submitted the name RAPIDS/RAPIDES. Your names will go into a draw to determine the winner of the two season tickets.

The grand prize winner’s name will be announced at our press conference on Thursday, February 14th. We will notify the lucky winner that afternoon.

All other entrants will receive an Ottawa Rapids souvenir as we get closer to the season. We will contact you once again to let you know when the souvenir will be available.

Again, thank you so much for your interest in Ottawa’s new team and we hope you will visit the ballpark many times this season to share in the excitement and enjoyment of this new entity.

GO RAPIDS!

No call yet (3:00), so I'd guess I didn't win those season tickets. Oh well. There's still the free game promised to all contest entrants, as well as that enticingly mysterious "Ottawa Rapids souvenir." A jersey? We live in hope.

"It's hard to believe you, sir."

2008-02-13T18:29:00.000-08:00

"You always got my back, right Andy? No matter what, right?"
"Ummmm..."

I Can't Wait for the Movie

I wasn't going to bother with any of this Clemens bullshit, because this blog is about baseball, whereas that's about lying, backstabbing and dry legal proceedings. But despite our best effort to look the other way, the human drama on view on Capitol Hill demands our attention, and besides, Jeff Blair's there (he's got a good rundown on the day's events here).

The key moment - the "You can't handle the truth!" kicker, the historical soundbite nearest to Joseph Welch's berating of Senator McCarthy, and the Oscar-baiting scene whenever this mess is made into a movie - had to be when Democratic House member Elijah Cummings said to Clemens, "You're one of my heroes. But it's hard to believe you, sir."

That's high drama.

Pomes?

The Drunk Jays Fans got all poetic today, and this just days after their stirring stylistic homage to Fellini. Who knew a liberal arts education was a prereq for joining the DJF ranks?

The Last Few Desperate Hours

Heaven almighty, end our suffering. For the love of all that is good and just, play some ball, fellas! Shag flies! Hit fungoes! Play pepper! This boy is exhausted for the waiting, already. If I have to hear any more crap about Ray Emery or the latest Sens acquisitions, I'll lose it. Just my luck, I live on the fringes of a hockey town, a place where Daniel Alfredsson's injuries lead the newscast - not the sports report, mind, but the newscast. I need some meaningless briefs from FLA and AZ by shirtsleeved reporters flanked by palm trees, their 'dos buffeted by the stiff Gulf breeze, just to leaven my February dread. Just a taste, please.

Let's Play Some Baseball

2008-02-12T05:45:00.000-08:00

Now's the Time: We've had the trades, the signings, the ill-considered ticket schemes. We've watched hours of video, done prodigious reading (David Maraniss' Clemente is excellent; Jonathan Eig's Jackie Robinson bio is not as good, but still enjoyable), purchased expensive memorabilia, started a blog, and read dozens of others. We have our hopes, our predictions, and we've maintained our heroes. Now all we want is for overgrown men to travel down to Florida and Arizona for the simple purpose of throwing and catching and hitting balls. Please: play some baseball.

A Thought: I sat through some of Hockey Day in Canada this past Saturday. As always, I enjoyed some of it, cringed at other parts, and eventually turned off the TV when I'd had enough hockey. I appreciate the spirit of the thing, it's hokiness in place of bombast (imagine if Fox were to attempt something similar). All in all, it is a thing so infused with a patriotism so awkward and so self-conscious that only the CBC could get away with it. In truth the other point, the creeping subtext, is the desire to prove the Mother Corp's continued relevance ("Maybe you can watch hockey on TSN and Sportsnet, but can they do this?").

But my point (well-concealed, but still present) is this: Why not a Baseball Day in Canada? CBC has a few Saturday afternoon Jays games this season, so why not build around one of those? Have your intrepid reporters fan out across the nation looking for heartwarming little league stories (teams that have survived the death of a player and who fight on in his/her memory are always good), life-affirming tales from the softball beer leagues, maybe a story on the success of the Can-Am League in Quebec City and its arrival in Ottawa, stop in on the Vancouver Canadians at Nat Bailey Stadium. Do some bio pieces on current Canuck major leaguers (but not Eric Gagne). Also look for something wacky, like people in the far north who play baseball in the snow! Throw in some black and white photos, a few history lessons, and you're done. Baseball Day in Canada. A ratings disaster? Maybe, but this is about culture.

I know, I know: a cold day in hell.

Three Strikes

2008-02-09T06:12:00.000-08:00

1) Ever the optimist, I guess I can be happy that the fact that the O's and M's have finally made the Bedard-for-Jones-etc. swap means one less formidible pitcher for Toronto to contend with in the East. Still, as somebody who also likes the Mariners (blame Ichiro), I can't say that watching them bet the future on a run in '08 or '09 feels all that good. But here's hoping Orleans' own wins 2o games and the M's outlast the Angels to take the West, only to fall before the Wild Card Jays in the ALDS.

2) I'm an idiot. Remember, way back when, when I called the idea of a Cubs-Jays interleague matchup "highly hypothetical"? Well, it wasn't until this morning that I really bothered to study the Jays' '08 schedule, and guess what I found? Right. June 13-15, the birds will entertain the Cubbies at Rogers Centre. Here's hoping Chicago has a sizeable lead in the NL Central by then, because I'm going to need them to drop all three of those games. Priorities. This idiot does have priorities.

3) Is it wrong of me to feel heartened by the shitstorm kicked up amongst the Blue Jays blogging family by the masterminds' decision to make tickets available to out-of-towners before homers? Because I do feel that way. No question it's a boneheaded move, even if it does make great business sense. In the alchemical equation that yields happy and loyal baseball fans, sometimes the buck counts for less than the heart. Or maybe it's a matter of optics. Whatever; the anger on display by the Drunk Jays Fans, The Tao and over at Hum & Chuck brings home the point that Toronto really does have a core of smart, passionate fans, and that pleases me. It also makes for some damn funny and indignant posts. I don't live in or near the 416, so the move doesn't directly effect me, but it does make the Rogers braintrust seem like a bush league organization.

My Brush With a Blue Jay: First in a Series (of two)

2008-02-07T18:01:00.000-08:00

Long before he was famous for getting all up in Gibby's mug, Theodore Roosevelt "Lefty" Lilly was just another promising youngster in the Montreal Expos' organization. After being drafted by the Dodgers and kicking around the lower rungs of their system, Lilly was dealt to the 'Spos, and subsequently assigned to AAA Ottawa. It was 1998, and the world was essentially an optimistic place, because nobody had flown planes into buildings yet. Young Lilly arrived in the frozen north full of promise and vigour. The world was his for the conquest.

Long before my distinguished career as stay-at-home dad and would-be romance novelist began, I was but a lowly shopboy, just another moony young man convinced that a gig in a record store was but a short layover before the world offered me its riches. Then, as now, I loved records and baseball. When not working or listening to Guided By Voices, I might be found at Lynx Stadium.

One day, while minding the shop - smiling 'til it hurt, stocking shelves, making ornate displays celebrating the latest Hip release - a dark-haired young man came into the store and began browsing. Eventually he came to the cash with John Mellencamp's greatest hits CD. I rang him up, wished him a good day, and he was gone.

A few minutes later, he was back. "This doesn't work in my car," he said. I took the CD, tried it in the store's CD player, and found it to work fine. Still, being the customer-first sort of guy that I was, I offered him a replacement copy. He left again, only to return a moment later. The scene replayed itself twice more. He was nice about it, so I kept offering him more copies.

Finally, after the fourth or fifth transaction, I asked him if he would mind showing me what his car stereo did when he put the CD in. Obligingly, he led me to the parking lot, where his very shiny and fast looking Ford Mustang, with California plates, sat waiting. He opened the door and climbed inside, then popped the latest CD into the slot. Nothing. Satisfied, I said, "I don't understand it, but if you want your money back, it's yours."

On the way back into the store I asked, in a casual and completely hetero way, what a guy from California was doing buying CDs in Ottawa. I think I kind of expected the answer. "I play baseball for the Lynx."

"No shit?" I said, "I go to Lynx games. What's your name?"

"Ted Lilly," he said, and he kind of swaggered, as if to say, "Remember it, cuz someday I'll be a 15 game winner in the Show." I was a bit taken aback; I'd seen him pitch earlier that very week.

We talked about ball a bit more, I gave him his money back, and he moved to leave, but before he did, he turned to me. A bit uncertain, he asked, "So you go to a lot of games?"

"As many as I can," I said.

"Maybe you can tell me, then," he said, and he paused, as if unsure that he should continue. Finally, through a hangdog expression, he managed: "Why don't more people come?"

And that is the completely true and totally amazing story of how I met Ted Lilly.