Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The People United Will Never Be Divided

Cue the groundswell of anti-Wells-in-CF sentiment among the people. Seems everyone -- the Drunkards, The Tao, even Bastian himself -- are calling for the removal of Money Earnin' from the vast expanses of centre field, to be shifted right (or left, as per Bastian's suggestion, with Lindy in RF) in order to allow Rios to take the middle. I'll throw my support behind the proposal; I love me a grassroots movement. I'll be the shivering idiot in the sandwich board out on the 115. Hell no, we won't go! Or something.

Wells is too valuable a hitter to let the wear and tear on his legs keep him out of 50 games a year. Rios is a damn gazelle out there, let him run -- his long, slender (and healthy) gams evoking happy memories of other, similarly-endowed CFs from the Jays past. If, as Blair says, the only way the brass move Wells is if Wells asks to be moved, then we have to appeal to the man himself. Send mail to:

Vernon Wells
c/o Toronto Blue Jays
1 Blue Jays Way, Suite 3200
Rogers Centre
Toronto, Ontario M5V 1J1

I figure the best approach is something along the lines of, Dear Mr. Wells, I love your work, etc., but there comes a time in every man's life when he must ask himself how he may be of service to others, and I believe your skills would best be put to use in left field, etc.

If that doesn't work I'll start circulating the petition.

Power to the People.

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