Pffffffttt...

Old news now, but holy crap. Aramis, what gives? Mr. Lee? Et tu, Fukudome? If I'm a Los Angeles Angel of Anaheim, I'm disappointed right now. If I'm a Cub, I'm embarrassed.

One hundred and one years, maybe?

Sign Manny

Maybe he's just a bit eccentric, and maybe he doesn't always hustle, but what Manny Ramirez did in the sixth inning tonight was RIDICULOUS. There are very few human beings capable of going down and getting to a pitch like that, and fewer who can put it over the wall. And to my knowledge, there are no others who will be free agents after the 2008 World Series. I do not care who JP has to ask for permission to do this; going out and nabbing Manny this off-season should be job 1. Don't tell me he wouldn't love to come back to the AL East to stick it to the Red Sox with regularity.

Ah, the Postseason

TBS sucks. Dick Stockton is too old for this. And I'm too lazy to look this up, but where in the hell is Tony Gwynn from? Who talks like that? He sounds like an animated childrens' character, not a Hall of Fame hitter. And he does not sound like an -- oh, well, you know. We all think it, everytime he opens his mouth. Don't you lie to me. If I went ahead and said it, this would be a different blog.

The exception to TBS' suckery is, of course, Tom Verducci on the sidelines. (Sidelines? That doesn't sound right for baseball. "Foul territory reporter" is more accurate, but unwieldy, so we'll stick with "sideline reporter.")

But afternoon playoff baseball is just supremely fantastic. Am I right? Phils-Brewers before dinner, are you kidding me? That's flat-out righteous. Too bad it's just the early rounds; I wish MLB would wake the fuck up and schedule some afternoon World Series games. I know, I know, ratings are more important that attracting a new generation of fans, but damn it, I'm tired of waking up tired.

It Doesn't Look Good for the Cubs

It's quieter than a library at Wrigley right now, as Russell Martin just mashed one out in the ninth, making it 7-2 Dodgers. Christamighty, I didn't expect a score like that. Get'em in game 2, Big Zed.

Damn, Dick Stockton just told me that the team that has won game one of a Division Series has won 24 of 28 of said series. Well, I guess if you're trying to break a century-long championship drought, you're already looking at beating some long odds, right? Cubs in 5.

Holy Crap!

Three in a row! But barely! Rios boots one! Downs is hurt! And Wells cranks a grand salami! Holy!

Also

Seattle dangles Ibanez in front of JP's salivating maw at the deadline, then pulls back, only to maybe, probably trade him into our division. Crap!

Holy Crap! The National League Edition

Holy crap! Talk about runs -- didja see what the Cubbies did to the Bravies in today's day-night doubleheader? An aggregate of 18-2! Yowsa!

But then, the Cubs had better reel off some wins, what with the undefeated-as-a-Brewer CC Sabathia intent on dragging Milwaukee into the playoffs for the first time since I began my public school education! Holy crap!

I Have Seen the Future

If all shakes down right, the outfield we're seeing now should be the Jays' starting outfield for years to come. As long as, you know, Vernon stops landing on himself funny and Rios maintains a consistent grip on his stroke. But Lind looks great, doesn't he?

For real, major league rosters are fluid things, and there's really no telling what the starting L-C-R trio will be in 2010 or beyond, but if all three of those guys play to their potential (matching, or even approaching, career bests for Wells and Rios, while Lind becomes the kind of player we've all been waiting for him to become, and sorta like he looks right now), then I like the hell out of our outfield. I'd put it up against anybody's.

If, on the other hand, Lind fizzles, Wells continues to play tag with the DL (and generally suck it up when he is healthy), and Rios seems more interested in his neat-o RC helicopters than with crushing hanging breakers, well then we're saddled with a sorry bunch. (These either/or scenarios make baseball interesting, don't they?) But hey, I hear Shannon Stewart's available.

And about that... Keeping Stewart coming out of Spring Training made sense. The fact that it didn't work out does not ipso facto mean that it was a bad move. And just because Reed Johnson hasn't dragged the Chicago Cubs down into oblivion does not indicate that JP went with the wrong guy. The Jays played the numbers. In the end, all they needed was a placeholder for Lind, anyway. Lind's in, Shannon's out and Reed's in Wrigleyville. All seems fine to me.

The Litsch is Back

Jesse returns from the 'Cuse to start Thursday, pushing poster boy for Canadian politeness Scott Richmond ("Want me to miss the Olympics? Okay. The bullpen? I'll defer to your experience here, sir.") to the bullpen. Cito says that the issues that Jesse was sent down to work on (like, say, blowing a tire as May rolled over into June) have been resolved. We'll see. You have to wonder, when a starter hits a shitty streak like Litsch did, how much is mechanics and how much is mental. Might have been Litsch's youth showing. I was a "Jesse for 5th Starter" standard bearer out of Dunedin, and I think he's a number five guy going forward, so long as he can avoid streaks like the one he suffered through. Or maybe history will see that I'm wrong. Who frigging knows?

And Another Thing

They played a game last night... and won! Take a look at that box score. A thing of beauty, no? RBIs for Rios, Wells, Stairs, Barajas (3!) and Lind. Good lines from Marcum, League, Downs and Ryan. Things working as they should. Had they not been swept by the Indians (!), we might be looking at some real momentum here.

Blue Jays Miscellany

With the Top Down, the Rogers Centre is a Pretty Sweet Ride

I love that the Jays never suffer the inconvenience of a rain out (or snow out) at home. I don't live in Toronto, so on the rare occasion that I do make it to a game, I like knowing that no matter the conditions outside, they're playin' some ball. But a game played beneath the roof is preferable only to no game being played; we'd all rather sit beneath the sky, or watch a game played outdoors instead of in. So, while the season is a couple of weeks old, watching tonight's game - with the lid finally open - makes it feel, for the first time, that summer is actually on its way. A beautiful thing.


I Stayed Up For That?

Is a 14-inning game worth staying up for if it ends like that? Also, can we think of a better way to say "the ball slipped through Zaun's legs" than "between the wickets"? Like, maybe just, "the ball slipped through Zaun's legs"? Sometimes plainspeak is betterspeak. On the plus side, AJ's impromtu appearance means that we all get to see David Purcey (in powder blues, no less!). So that's something.

What Happened to Frank Thomas?

Nothing to add to that. No sooner did I gush over his monstrous bat then he flatlines (or reverts to his typical April performance levels, I guess).

Reed It and Weep

Reed Johnson went 4 for 4 today doing spot duty for the Cubs, who are playing musical outfielders with Alfonso Soriano out. It didn't help, of course; Ted Lilly (what the hell happened to Ted Lilly?) served BP lobs to the Reds for much of the afternoon, specifically Canuck Joey Votto. Alarming figure: Lilly's groundout to flyball ratio was 2:10. In Wrigley Field. I wondered, when Lilly signed with Chicago, if Wrigley was the right fit for him. When he's off - like in 2oo8 - he can get shelled, and the balls positively rain down on Waveland and Sheffield avenues.

Also, Junior "What if he'd stayed healthy?" Griffey hit his 596th off Jon Lieber; this stat blows me away: Lieber is the 380th guy to give up a homer to Griffey. Three hundred and eighty different pitchers. Is is me, or is that crazy? Can you name 380 pitchers? Am I wrong to be blown away by this?

Oh, and in the interest of full disclosure, Votto's Cub-bashing didn't completely ruin my day; he's the backup 1B on my fantasy team, and he brought me 5 RBI. Such are the torn loyalties engendered by fantasy baseball.

Hourly Rates Available

After last night's marathon, it's a damn fine thing to have Halladay on the mound, whose workmanlike efficiency (even on a night when he's given up a few hits and - thus far - 3 runs) means a trim, sub-3 hour game (is there a Law & Order on later?).

Happy Birthday To You

Finally, congrats to The Tao on its first birthday. It couldn't happen to a nicer blog, and I'm not just saying that because this blog was once namechecked there (back when I somehow, miraculously, found time to post more than twice a week). Honestly, that header tagline - "One Day, We'll Be Perfect" - is so perfect, it nearly makes me cry. And the content is excellent too, obvs. Keep up the good work.

Blue Jays Miscellany

Frank Thomas Gives Me That Feeling

There are times in baseball when a certain player gives you a certain feeling – that sense that, for whatever reason - be it an elusive celestial alignment or generous tribute paid to the proper pagan god – that player is in a rarified place that allows him to change a game’s complexion at any given moment. Right now, Frank Thomas is giving off those vibes.

Hurt’s season started a bit slow, but something clicked over the weekend (he credits a new batting helmet, apparently) and now he’s mashing. He’s got that killer eye, and every at-bat inspires hope in Jays fans and fear in pitchers. It hit its zenith on Sunday when Thomas was waiting on a Manny Delcarmen fastball, and grand slammed it.

It happened again tonight (though it went for naught). In the eighth, Hurt watched three Alan Embree duds float by before bothering to swing the bat. He had that cockysmock look in his eyes, though his face was blank. He pushed the fourth pitch over the wall to tie the game.

He can’t single-handedly win every game, but he’s a nice tool to wield right now, no?

Rolen Pulls the Pin

They yanked the surgically implanted rod from Scott Rolen’s busted digit today, clearing him to do baseball stuff with both hands. The team says he might be ready to go in a week. Saying that this is good news is in no way meant to slight Marco Scutaro’s contribution in Rolen’s absence. Scutaro’s a nice tool to have coming off the bench, no?

Hill in the 2-Hole

Though I have publicly stated that I believe Aaron Hill belongs higher in the order, specifically in the number two slot, I haven’t yet mentioned here that Hill did hit second on Sunday. The reason? I’m pretty sure that’s an aberration, just the result of Eckstein getting an off day and Gibbons’ desire to have his replacement (Johnny Mac) hit lower. If I thought it was something that was likely to be repeated more than a couple of times a month, I’d have freaked out over it. As it is, whatev. But seriously, Gibby, what an amazing tool Hill would be batting second!

Oh Snap!

Reed Johnson playing the role of jilted ex-lover? Subtext doesn’t get more shallow than Reed’s comments about the fans at Wrigley. What he said: “The fans [in Chicago] definitely know the game.” What he meant: “The hockey-addled canuckleheads in Toronto don’t have a clue what a real contribution is.” What a tool, no?

The Ballad of Billy Buckner

I have to believe that even the most hardened of Red Sox-hating Jays fans were moved by Bill Buckner’s return to Fenway today. The man choked back tears as he spoke of having to learn to forgive the Boston media for vilifying him over The Grounder. That kind of drama and pathos supersedes team allegiances, doesn’t it?

Lastly

Seriously, what the hell’s wrong with Detroit?

Clog Those Bases

Ever the optimist (?), I choose to highlight the positive from last night's 3-2 loss to Wang and the Yanks.

Doc Being Doc - angry and intense man that he is, he pitched a solid game. He just had the misfortune of doing on a night when Wang was also damn good. My dad's kind of intense like Doc, but he can't pitch, so it's just weird. He mutters a lot.

Scooter Scooting - I think the Drunkards are right, Scutaro's stolen bases were just him holding up his end of the hit-n-run bargain, but I like his fire. A Venezuelan's word is bond.

Running Up That Hill - Our second sacker is making good contact and would-shoulda-coulda had a couple of more extra bases, but for Melky Cabrera's meddlesome interference. One question: why in the hell is he hitting seventh? Is JP exerting influence and trying to keep Hill's value down for next winter's extension talks? Wha-? Move him up to no. 2.

Alright, the negative: stranding runners; not recognizing the 4' x 8' Yankee Stadium special strike zone. Will those fuckers get those sorts of sentiment-driven calls all year? Jesus, hand them the trophy now.

For your listening pleasure: The Southpaw has a solid suggestion, if you just can't abide Rod Black's pandering, Pat Tabler's filler, or Jamie Campbell's inanity. Everybody knows that MLB Audio never syncs with the TV images, so that's a non-starter (though I do love me some Jerry Howarth). So turn down the TV and turn up the stereo! You're smarter than those hacks, anyway, so do your own play by play while enjoying the noise of your choosing.

Tonight: AJ vs. Mussina. We find out if AJ's fingernail has healed, and if he's got all his stuff this season. Mussina kind of owns Toronto, but if AJ can keep them close, the new run-n-gun offense (football?) can make a game of it. Maybe? I mean, if that homer strike zone contracts even just a bit.

This guy predicts: Vernon wakes up, goes 3-4 with 3 RBI. Eckstein makes another mistake or two, but covers it up with grit and character. Scooter steals another base. Hill hits a double. Jays win 5-3.

In Wrigleyville, ex-Jay Ted Lilly throws for the Cubs today against Jeff Suppan and the Brewers. Fukudome! looks to extend his legend. My advice would be to call it a season and head back to Japan as the most popular man in the history of Chicago. Only heartache can result in a full season there. History proves it.

On the West Coast: Putz blows a good outing by King Felix, and Mariners fans are forced to drown their sorrows in a grande dark roast. I'm intrigued by tonight's start by new Mariner Carlos Silva. They paid a helluva lot for a no. 3 starter. Worth it? He's an innings pig; maybe he can go the full game and give Putz a night off to nurse his broken heart.

Delayed Gratification

File under: Anticlimactic.

We'll try to get excited all over again tomorrow night, but we hear the weather report's no better for then. This might take a while; not sure how much more disappointment we can stand.

There's Got to Be a Better Way: Sunny stadiums stand empty, domed stadiums (like ours!) have to wait to open. Meanwhile, predictably cold and wet locales suffer rain delays. Take note, schedule makers!

On the Bright Side: Fukudome! He went 3-3 with 3 RBI, nearly won it for the Cubs, and he's a member of our very own fantasy squad. Hell yes.

Three Strikes

1) Ever the optimist, I guess I can be happy that the fact that the O's and M's have finally made the Bedard-for-Jones-etc. swap means one less formidible pitcher for Toronto to contend with in the East. Still, as somebody who also likes the Mariners (blame Ichiro), I can't say that watching them bet the future on a run in '08 or '09 feels all that good. But here's hoping Orleans' own wins 2o games and the M's outlast the Angels to take the West, only to fall before the Wild Card Jays in the ALDS.

2) I'm an idiot. Remember, way back when, when I called the idea of a Cubs-Jays interleague matchup "highly hypothetical"? Well, it wasn't until this morning that I really bothered to study the Jays' '08 schedule, and guess what I found? Right. June 13-15, the birds will entertain the Cubbies at Rogers Centre. Here's hoping Chicago has a sizeable lead in the NL Central by then, because I'm going to need them to drop all three of those games. Priorities. This idiot does have priorities.

3) Is it wrong of me to feel heartened by the shitstorm kicked up amongst the Blue Jays blogging family by the masterminds' decision to make tickets available to out-of-towners before homers? Because I do feel that way. No question it's a boneheaded move, even if it does make great business sense. In the alchemical equation that yields happy and loyal baseball fans, sometimes the buck counts for less than the heart. Or maybe it's a matter of optics. Whatever; the anger on display by the Drunk Jays Fans, The Tao and over at Hum & Chuck brings home the point that Toronto really does have a core of smart, passionate fans, and that pleases me. It also makes for some damn funny and indignant posts. I don't live in or near the 416, so the move doesn't directly effect me, but it does make the Rogers braintrust seem like a bush league organization.

God Bless the People of Pittsburgh

Fire Joe Morgan hits one into the Allegheny with this post in response to a truly bizarre piece comparing Pirates fans to... well, just read it. Go ahead. I'll sit pretty right here until you're done...

Right, so, the point of the original piece by one Mike Seate is that baseball fans compare unfavourably to those of, ahem, superbike racing. I won't deconstruct the argument, because FJM has already done so, and done so better than I could (I can manage concise, and I can sometimes manage funny, and on rare occasions I even nail intelligent, but all three is asking too much of me).

But my point is that, okay, I've been to Pittsburgh and gone to a Pirates game at beautiful PNC Park, and found Bucco fans to be... subdued. I live in Ottawa, and I went to Lynx games for 15 years, so I know subdued. And Pirates fans fit that bill. I found them subdued and, well, sparse.

But think about it: it was September, and the Pirates had been out of contention since (roughly) late April. Again. And as a fanbase they have been, frankly, shit upon by ownership and management for a decade and a half now.

On that afternoon in Pittsburgh, I saw the Pirates lose to the Chicago Cubs. The park was half full, but half of those in attendance were decked out in full Cubbies regalia, a traveling roadshow of folks bleeding Cubbie blue. Cubs fans, who are entering their one hundredth year without a championship, are often cited as the mose diehard, fervent, and knowledgeable baseball fans around.

But. There's an argument to be made, I think, that instead of being the best baseball fans in the world, Cubs fans are Earth's biggest schmucks, shelling out year after year to see a team that never wins when it counts, a team run by a succession of organizations that have little motivation to win because, hell, the fans keep pouring into Wrigley anyway. The flipside of that argument would be that Montreal Expos fans were among the smartest and savviest lovers of baseball anywhere, because they knew when they were being treated poorly, and they rebelled with their wallets and asses (which no longer occupied the Big O's yellow plastic seats, see?).

Viewed in that light, maybe Pirates fans are pretty smart, too. Maybe they're simply fed up; maybe they're saying, "Thanks for the ballpark, but call us when you're actually trying to field a winning team."

I liked Pittsburgh, truly. It seemed to me an interesting city emerging from its industrial past, shaking the coke dust off and stepping smartly into the twenty-first century. I liked its neighbourhoods and its architecture, and its people seemed like good people. I loved imagining Forbes Field filled to the brim, of the mighty Clemente patrolling right field. And PNC is gorgeous - if you like ballparks, you must see it - but too full of ballpark tourists like me, and not enough local, hometown crazies. What I longed to see was a park jammed with rabid fans, with shirtless idiots screaming their faces off, with families and old guys with transistor radios, all cheering on a team with a real chance of winning. Imagine that: NL CENTRAL CHAMPS. That'd make for a different kind of fan, I dare say.

Tick Tock

The handy counter thingy on MLB.com tells me that 23 days remain until the start of spring training. Twenty-three days...

Of course, up here in Canada, we recognize that the "spring" part of that term is a cruel fallacy; we're still in the dead of winter when the boys report and begin loping around those impossibly green and perfect fields in Florida and Arizona. Even when the season begins, we're likely to be bundled up and still shivering in the stands when the teams hit the field. After all, the first Jays game was played in the snow, and how many April games did I attend in Ottawa when temperatures dipped near or below freezing? And how is it that they would always run out of coffee and hot chocolate? Stock up!

Does any of this stop me from getting giddy at the thought of the dawning of the new season? No. No, it does not.

And in the meantime, we have rumours to consider. Rumours like: are the Cubs still looking to sell the farm for Brian Roberts' services? (They shouldn't.) And, will the Jays successfully lock up Alex Rios? (They definitely should.)

Oh, and speaking of Brian Roberts, I've been thinking: what a strange beast that Mitchell Report has turned out to be. Was it a witch hunt? Baseball's own TRC (complete with total amnesty)? PR exercise? All of the above?

In with the Old

Seems to me that the Cubs' signing of Jon Lieber means that Sean Marshall will be bumped from the rotation, which is too bad. Marshall (that's him above, with his toes pointed heavenward) turned in 125 innings in his rookie campaign back in '06, when he had a better first half than second. He was often thrilling, and showed flashes of brilliance, a rare thing on that '06 team (other than Maddux, that is). He only pitched 100 innings last season, but you had the sense the Cubs saw a place for him for some time to come. But here's the thing: since Lieber's only signed for a year, maybe they're just looking to season Marshy a little more?

Another question: does this make somebody expendable? Like, say, Ryan Dempster? I have no real reason to believe this, I'm just saying. And those Brian Roberts rumours persist; maybe the O's want an arm in the deal, and Lieber is the Cubbies' insurance policy?

Or maybe, as the Tribune suggests in that link, Marshall is to be part of the deal?

An admission of biases

Granted, it's January, but I've got baseball on the brain, and rather than taint that other blog with non-music related topics, I figured why not give the baseball rants their own space? Voila, The Bottom of the Order. Welcome, salut, etc.

Rather than attempt to cover all of baseball in an objective measure, I'll just cop to my prejudices right off the bat. Easier for all concerned, no?

Allegiances are a tangled subject. They are arrived at in a convoluted manner, and mine are no different...

As a child, I remember being terribly, terribly conflicted in a way that will be familiar to many, many Canadians: Blue Jays or Expos? Luckily, in the pre-interleague play era, you could have your cake and eat it too. And so, I wore two hats. In '92 and'93, I was out of my head and over the moon; in '94 I was nearly in heaven. And though, in the wake of that disastrously aborted season, the Expos began their slow and sad march to Washington, it was easy to keep them close to the heart because I lived in Ottawa, home of their triple A affiliate.

Now, of course, the Expos are no more, and I am not a Nationals fan. That makes Toronto my #1. Go, Jays, go.

But what of the National League? I hear you ask. Good question. First off, let me explain something: I love ballparks. Love 'em. The older the better. Heaven, Valhalla, paradise, or whatever you wish to call it is, in my personal estimation, one ceaseless evening at the ballpark, box seats, beer, dogs, a tight game... and though I love baseball so much that I have enjoyed many games at both The Big O and SkyDome/Rogers Centre, it goes without saying that old and authentic ballyards are preferable to futuristic plastic concoctions. The point is (and I know I'm rambling here, but bear with me) that I am not immune to allowing my feelings for certain ballparks to colour my feelings for the teams that call them home. And so, to answer your original question, due to having gone to Wrigley Field and loving the whole damn experience, and since they were the first team I ever saw the Expos play, and because presumably I am a sucker for punishment, and also I am fond of Ron Santo's dadaist take on the role of colour man, and besides, who doesn't love afternoon baseball, the Chicago Cubs are my designated National League team. That means I pull for them in every circumstance barring the highly hypothetical interleague Jays-Cubs matchup and, obviously, the nigh on impossible (as in sign of the coming apocalypse impossible) Jays-Cubs World Series.

So, that leaves only my West Coast team, a luxury I have decided to allow myself since Jays games only take up part of the evening, and thanks to the wonders of satellite TV, I can enjoy, on average, two games a night. My West Coast team? Why, the Seattle Mariners, that's who.

The reasons for that one are as follows:

1) Ichiro blows my mind.
2) Safeco Field is a beauty, perhaps the loveliest of the modern parks.
3) I have a deep and largely inexplicable affection for the city of Seattle.

There you have them, my biases, laid bare. I should also mention that I anticipate harbouring a fondness for Ottawa's new-for-2008 (and as yet unnamed) entry in the Can-Am League, just as I loved the late Lynx before them. The point of The Bottom of the Order is to allow me a venue for ranting about baseball in general, but you can expect those three MLB teams and one independent minor league squad to account for the bulk of the entries.

There are reserved seats in your name, down the first base line, all the footlongs you can eat, and plenty of cold beer, so settle in and enjoy the game. I'm glad you could make it.